Mossad Customer Support

Zionist. Not sorry. Two-state solution: you stop lying, I stop replying.

[Mossad Customer Support @MossadSupport]

If your replies are full of the same spam accounts, try “X/Twitter Location Flags, Time & Blocker” on the Chrome Web Store. It flags locations and lets you hide replies from specific countries.

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@BRICSinfo

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IDF: Hamas Planning Special 🇮🇱📄🔥
IDF Reveals Document: Hamas Planned to Plant Explosives Near Displaced Persons’ Camps in Gaza
According to the IDF, an internal Hamas document from April 2024 reveals a plan to plant explosive devices in camps for displaced persons and along civilian routes — with the aim of delaying IDF forces and allowing the organization’s operatives to escape, while endangering the civilian population.
Because nothing says “we protect our people” like drafting a formal plan to booby-trap the places where your own civilians are sheltering. Same-day strategic priorities. 📝💥

[Mossad Customer Support @MossadSupport]

@visegrad24

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@DrEliDavid

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Milan: There are Italian citizens who tried to prevent the looting.

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Liar, liar, pants on fire!

[Mossad Customer Support @MossadSupport]

Turkey: Mall Security Special 🇹🇷🛍️🔥
Claudia Medina, a Turkish-born Israeli businesswoman who brings groups of Israelis to Turkey, was surrounded and attacked by an anti-Israel mob at a shopping mall in Istanbul. She doesn’t appear to have been physically hurt — just warmly welcomed by the local hospitality committee.
In the videos, they accused her of bringing Israeli soldiers to Turkey.
Because nothing says “peaceful tourist destination” like mobbing a tour guide in the middle of a mall over imaginary soldiers. Same-day cultural exchange. 🇮🇱➡️🇹🇷💥

[Mossad Customer Support @MossadSupport]

@araghchi Fun fact: Not a single mosque was damaged during the riots in France. Must be a coincidence.

[Mossad Customer Support @MossadSupport]

IDF: Ceasefire Enforcement Special 🇮🇱🎯💥
The IDF eliminated three terrorists from Hamas’s military wing in the Gaza Strip, including a cell commander. They were working to restore military capabilities and advancing terror plots — in systematic violation of the ceasefire.
Because nothing says “we’re committed to peace” like quietly rebuilding the next round of attacks while the ceasefire is still active. Same-day clarification delivered. 🔥⚰️

[Mossad Customer Support @MossadSupport]

Iran: The “We’re Not Scared” Trilogy 🇮🇷📢🔥
Three senior Iranian officials issued threats against Israel and the U.S. overnight:
Foreign Minister: Last time you tried to finish the job we got stronger. Come again. Also, Netanyahu’s just trying to avoid prison.
IRGC Spokesperson: Hit our energy sites and the “occupied territories” become a permanent scorched wasteland. Occupiers get a one-way ticket to Sinai.
Chief of Staff: Trump’s too old to stand up. Any more foolish moves and we’ll hit harder than ever. We’re ready and waiting.🏜️🔥✈️

[Mossad Customer Support @MossadSupport]

France: Riot Special — Halal Edition 🇫🇷🍗🚫🔥
Rioters in France are getting clear instructions: do not touch “Master Poulet” (the Halal rotisserie chicken chain for the Muslim community).
They’re out waving Palestinian flags while carefully skipping any business with ties to the Muslim community.
Totally random. Nothing to do with the war in Iran. Macron will figure it out eventually. 🇵🇸🚩🐔👀

[Mossad Customer Support @MossadSupport]

Abdul loves goats.
Aisha loves horses.

[Mossad Customer Support @MossadSupport]

Paris Joins the War 🇫🇷🔥🏙️
The unrest in France: it appears as though Paris has joined the Russia-Ukraine war.
A skyline shrouded in smoke.

Because nothing says “peaceful high-school protest over fuel prices” quite like a capital that now looks like it’s under drone specials. Same aesthetic, different zip code. 📦💥

[Mossad Customer Support @MossadSupport]

@AryJeayBackup

[Mossad Customer Support @MossadSupport]

Another idiot

[Mossad Customer Support @MossadSupport]

Macron Explains the High School Riots 🇫🇷🔥⛽
President Macron identified the cause of the unrest in France: high fuel prices due to the war in Iran.
After scenes of looting and attacks on government buildings, he said the kids feel — rightly so — that fuel is too expensive because of Iran.
Back when I was a high school student, fuel prices were the last thing on my mind… and somehow I still managed not to torch the local prefecture. Same anger, different priorities. 📚💥

[Mossad Customer Support @MossadSupport]

@NiohBerg

[Mossad Customer Support @MossadSupport]

Assimilation Class: Luxury Edition 🎒⌚📚
Every single African Muslim deserves a Louis Vuitton backpack and a ROLEX so they can be on time for their classes while studying how to assimilate. Because nothing says “successful integration” quite like designer accessories for the basics. Same curriculum, better branding. 🇫🇷🐐🧻

[Mossad Customer Support @MossadSupport]

OECD Economy Rankings: Israel Edition 🇮🇱📈
The OECD forecasts Israel will have the largest GDP growth at 4.5%.
Ireland sits dead last at #38. Britain limps in at #28.
Because nothing says “boycott the genocidal apartheid state” quite like watching it outgrow most of Europe while the boycotters check their own growth charts. Same energy, different results. 📊🔥

[Mossad Customer Support @MossadSupport]

Gaza Social Media: New Expansion Plans 🇵🇸➡️🇫🇷
A prominent Gazan Fatah supporter writes cynically:
“We have lost Palestine, and now we are going to conquer Paris.”

Because nothing says “from the river to the sea” quite like quietly updating the destination to the Seine. Same energy, different zip code. 🥖🔥🇪🇺