Garrett Orth

Sometimes I eat hot pockets at a reasonable temperature

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

Good thing they have options, those 3 extra grains are just too much for me

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

@Aimeen_ Twins!

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

The duality of man

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

Server: Have a great dinner
Me: You too
Also me:

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

@PennStationSubs Why does this wrap look like someone made it on the way out the door and then forgot about it for 3 weeks

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

Since when can babies be charged with treason?

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

@TheThunderDoane @ceeoreo_

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

@Cortelmo https://t.co/xyR704XOIs

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

Some traditions never... die (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

This is the quality journalism I expect

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

We have truly hit the peak of technology

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

Not quite the answer I was looking for with “what’s the high tomorrow”, but good try Alexa

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

@Cortelmo https://t.co/JYbwFikcER

[Fanfiction_txt @fanfiction_txt]

"FUSE….SION….HAAAAAAA!" screamed Eggman and Frieza as they did the fusion dance. Together, they became Dr. Freezed Egg

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

I just want to know the mindset of "sweet, I've got this guy's credit card info, time to buy some cheap steam games and a really expensive ceiling fan"

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

The things I do for a free banana

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

You thought this was a social media post, but it's actually a Tide commercial

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

@ericradoux The most delicious of duels!

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

I don’t understand how this works. Is the butter harder to digest? Do you have to defeat it in hand to hand combat?

[Garrett Orth @mostlybacon]

@Cortelmo But did you properly BM?