mujy

[mujy @mouj19]

Nothing hurt more than seeing the plug high off some dope. Shits inconvenient as fuck

[mujy @mouj19]

@ismailragilla Bros just lying to lie

[mujy @mouj19]

My mechanic got pulled over for going 52 in a 45 or some shit and this fucking abomination somehow got 180 days probation

[KORBI 🐦‍⬛ @NoiBoobSweat]

The one kid who had the newports is a lion amongst sheep

[mujy @mouj19]

Bro beat a short story of charges then he gone text me. You got me bent officer I’m not responding to shit

[mujy @mouj19]

I’m convinced everyone hates coconut water and they just drink it to make others think it’s good

[mujy @mouj19]

Free will is telling all your employees you think the other one is gay or a fed then providing a bullshit reason so they don’t talk to each other and get their work done fast

[mujy @mouj19]

There’s people who tear their meat up before they start eating and people who tear their meat up as they eat and for some reason one group has an exceptionally higher chance of being gay

[mujy @mouj19]

Running a red light and making eye contact with a cop at the other light gotta be the worse pain

[mujy @mouj19]

Sometimes I don’t answer then call back like 8 min later knowing the other person not going to answer cause their petty and that shit lightens my mood immediately

[mujy @mouj19]

Watching the fed car pull off once you pull off gotta be the worst pain ever.

[mujy @mouj19]

And what no one ever tells you is that once you truly reach a position of power you can never take a nap again.

[mujy @mouj19]

There’s this fat homeless dude with a hunch back that I see literally all over the city. Feds closing in

[LaughBreak: Dad Jokes ‘N More @MediocreJoker85]

The health department suspected a small-town bakery was cutting corners on labor laws, so they sent an inspector to investigate.

The inspector walked in and said, “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.”

The baker said, “Sure. There’s Maggie, my head decorator. She’s been here five years. Makes $900 a week, full benefits.

“Then there’s this… well, slow fellow. Sweet guy, but not exactly firing on all cylinders. Works about sixteen hours a day, handles most of the lifting, cleaning, and bookkeeping. Makes about $40 a week, buys his own lunch, and every Friday night I buy him a six-pack and let him crash in the storage room if he’s too tired to go home. Sometimes I even let him borrow my car.”

The inspector frowned. "That’s the guy I want to talk to—the slow one."

The baker nodded. “That’d be me. What would you like to know?”

[mujy @mouj19]

Bro gone do some quick math on how much I’m making. What the fuck is going thru your testicle sized brain you pocket watching broke dusty bitch. He ride dick like he’s got a license for that shit

[mujy @mouj19]

I remember one time I watched this dude beat the brakes off his girlfriend at the gas station and she was starring me in the eyes the whole time

[mujy @mouj19]

I remember one time in Spanish class we had to talk about our dream job or some shit and I said I wanted to be a pharmacist and darla sent me to the office. That shit had to be racially motivated

[mujy @mouj19]

2026 is the year to tell people they stink. No more holding back if you smell something say something.

[LASHY BILLS @LASHYBILLS]

Lil dude got mad he didn’t get A micro Draco for Christmas 😭

“That’s a fully ARP switch”😭💀😭

[mujy @mouj19]

Dude tried to dap me up and I shook his hand. Thank god I went legit or whatever gherbo said