Andrew Granola

Rob Delaney tweet curator and harasser. Movie Theater Resident. Urbanist. Iowan. Kevin?

[Andrew Granola @MourningCake]

📌

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

Always have a fake name at the ready so you don't tell the cops something stupid, like "Andrew Granola."

[SimpsonsNBA @SimpsonsNBA]

Hell yeah

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

Love those celebs who regularly sit courtside and get all jazzed up and involved like they’re on the team and could be put in at any time & aren’t just some rich baby fart boy.

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

All mayors smoke crack. Why is this news? Mike Bloomberg sucks that glass dick all day.

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

Pic of my wife. We're at the beach. I love her.

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

If you take your phone out of your pocket while you're at a live music or comedy show, Jesus slaps your grandma in hell.

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

Horrible news. My nephew was on a bus traveling on a foggy mountain road in Chile. Then he got those big stupid disks put in his earlobes.

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

The fact is team, I've tried to have sex with people on numerous occasions.

[Nike Basketball @nikebasketball]

Fully automatic.

[Andrew Granola @MourningCake]

Excuse to post my favorite clip

[Rodger Sherman @rodger]

When somebody who has committed especially heinous crimes is in the building

[Indiana Fever @IndianaFever]

CAITLIN CLUTCH CLARK 🤑

she sinks the game-winning three with 1.2 seconds remaining in regulation.

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

My favorite Spice Girl was Coriander Connie. (She was crushed by a falling air conditioner before their first album came out)

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

Whenever I get too stressed out, I just put on a diaper & go play my saxophone in the forest for a few days.

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

Is it physiologically possible for a shit to exit my butt anymore without my eyes glued to my phone?

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

Siri, was Leah really out w/ Ann last night or is she fucking my cousin Ken again? Also, should I even bring it up after what I did in Utah?

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

If my vet told me the bill for our dog would be over $80, I would throw the dog in the garbage & tell my kids it died on 9/11.

[Dave Itzkoff @ditzkoff]

Backrooms (2026)
dir. Kane Parsons

[Andrew Granola @MourningCake]

@KyleSkey

[Andrew Granola @MourningCake]

@KyleSkey ur just bitter that @i_love_my_wive was my best man