moustache johnny

Bald guy with a moustache, bees and cameras.

[NBC News @NBCNews]

The Defense Department was funded with a budget of nearly a trillion dollars, but it is running out of cash, according to three U.S. officials, a former defense official, outside experts and two congressional staff members. https://t.co/QlhWRXOd9G

[scary lawyerguy @scarylawyerguy]

Your really have to hand it to Trump, it takes rare skill to go bankrupt running a casino and bankrupting the most lavishly funded government agency on the planet. Not sure we'll ever see this combination of private and public sector failure ever again. 🙃

[Chicago Cubs @Cubs]

how it feels having pca on your baseball team.

[Paul Niland @PaulNiland]

"russia has castrated Ukrainian soldiers, russia has raped Ukrainian women, russia has abducted Ukrainian children" and the International Olympic Committee is letting them back in to international sports.

How @iocmedia can you justify this?

[April Ajoy @aprilajoyr]

It's interesting that when Democrats are accused of rape, Republicans AND Democrats want them to step down. But when Republicans are accused of rape, Democrats want them to step down and Republicans make them President.

[Abigail Miller @Abigail_M2050]

Rep. Ted Lieu played Pam Bondi video of Trump partying with Epstein and asked if underage girls were present. Bondi snapped: This is ridiculous. There’s no evidence Trump committed a crime. Lieu fired back: I believe you just lied under oath

[Taylor McGregor @Taylor_McGregor]

Pete Crow-Armstrong joins the 20/20 club for the second straight season. #Cubs take the series against the Orioles.

[Taylor McGregor @Taylor_McGregor]

#Cubs Pete Crow-Armstrong now has 20 homers and 23 stolen bases. He’s now gone 20/20 in back to back seasons.

[Mike Nellis @MikeNellis]

It seems relevant that the 84-year-old senior senator from Kentucky is missing and rumored to be brain-dead, while the 80-year-old current president of the United States can’t remember the name of the nation he’s been waging war against for almost five months.

[Megatron @Megatron_ron]

JUST IN: 🇩🇰🇺🇸 Danish reporter slammed NATO General Secretary Mark Rutte live on camera:

"You sit next to Donald Trump at moments when he talks about conquering Greenland, talks about lashing out at allies like Spain.

Does this have any affect on your self-respect when you sit there and say nothing?"

[The Tennessee Holler @TheTNHoller]

Insane levels of corruption

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

The X-Control Janus-1

A foldable helicopter that fits right in your car trunk.

[Joe Walsh @WalshFreedom]

Obscene public corruption. All out in the open. They don’t give a fuck. Because they don’t think you give a fuck.👇

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.

[Dimko Zhluktenko 🇺🇦⚔️ @dim0kq]

Trump: Would you go to Moscow?

Zelensky: It's difficult. There are a lot of Ukrainian drones there. It's dangerous

Absolute banger, it's legendary to be speaking with former BEST Ukrainian commedian 🤣🤣🤣

[Furkan Gözükara @FurkanGozukara]

🚨 BOMBSHELL! Top journalist Ana Kasparian confirms Texas police use unregulated AI Flock cameras to track women crossing state lines for abortion pills.

She reveals the company blatantly lied to city councils.

The establishment is building a massive tracking database!

[Robert Reich @RBReich]

At the NATO summit today, Trump claimed the U.S. was under attack from the "Islamic Republic of Japan" and confused Zelensky for Putin.

Let's be honest here: Trump has clearly lost his mind.

[Mike Nellis @MikeNellis]

“Why is Trump throwing NATO under the bus? Why is he engaging with autocrats? Because if you kiss up to him enough, give him a fake peace prize, or put money in his back pocket, he will sell out the American people. He will even sell out some of our closest allies.

Trump has been making deals all throughout the Middle East through Jared Kushner, Steve Witkoff, and the rest of them. Those deals are, in my opinion, immoral. They’re bad for the American people. They make us less safe. But they put a lot of money in his back pocket.”

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

We are encouraged to not eat lunch away from our workstations or pee. Other countries have been ahead of us for a long time now.