M ∆ R K F L O R Σ S

My words are my own. 🌊

[M ∆ R K F L O R Σ S @mpfloress]

Time is the currency of perfection. The more you give, the more you get. ✒

[Drew @drewdyck]

Panera is the perfect choice when you’re not sick but you’re craving hospital food. And you’re like, my bank balance is too high.

[fei @karmicdebt]

#PourCoffeeOnYourGrandmaChallenge

[𐙚𓍢ִ໋ ˚ ෆ @stdj489]

違うそうじゃない

[sylvie @jeffnaedo]

oomf just sent me this and went “this you?”

[Ricky Hollywood @victim_burn77]

Imagine you try to return ET home and find our he’s like his species most notorious pedophile

[cameron! @workreps]

#pouroutabeeronyourcrotchchallenge

[USFBULLS69 @usfbulls69]

“AI is gonna take your job”

I’d like to see AI mix a shitty batch of concrete and tell the apprentice to secretly bury it in the homeowner’s garden

[Pilgrim @VLONEPREDATOR]

you just know these two would take up the bench press for over an hour on a monday at 5pm

[Shep🖌🐾 @ShepGoesBlep]

How it feels when your friend is raging at a game you introduced him to

[Made In Canada @MadelnCanada]

FIFA World Cup Cobra chicken security on his lunch break…

[Carolyn Wang 凯伦 @caro_irl]

tcg players be like aw damn i almost got you i just needed this impossible sequence of twenty things to happen in this precise order and for you to misplay in the most grievous way possible and I would've won

[CASH @caymarjr]

mexicans would watch a snail
race if there was a snail from mexico competing

[🐱 @LegHvmper]

Flightless mammal my ass this mf fly as hell

[7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000]

looking that the DVDs on the bottom shelf at the thrift store

[poppa @popitforpoppa]

i no green i dominican papi

[Fish ΘΔ @algae_fish]

Getting hit by one of these at full speed and all evidence of me even being there in the first place is wiped away instantly

[𑄝 @mvluv]

How do you do that

[Deb JJ Lee @ AX Anime Expo A6 @jdebbiel]

would howl rip one like this or like this

[BFrog @BFrog__]

yo meando a mi amigo porque su ligue era una bruja y nos convirtió en salchichas