Michael Poole

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

@ChipChantry Xanaxmas?

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

@chrislhayes Agreed that she’s an overall genius, but this makes me laugh: https://t.co/A3bgV2FYDw

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

@DNC @harrisonjaime It won’t matter, if campaign promises like immediate $2k checks(not $1400), min wage increase and student debt relief continue to be broken.

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

@imcharming324 @AmeriGas As a fellow customer, I agree. Thanks for sharing the frustration and getting the word out. You are far from alone on this.

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

The job that I never knew that I wanted didn’t exist until, today. Second Gentleman.

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

Given the popularity of “Cobra Kai”, I’m pitching “Capitol Police Academy”.

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

https://t.co/LxoSPDWdKh

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

I double-dare you to even attempt to cancel Dolly Parton.

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

Enjoy that well-earned vacation, Congress. Wish you were here!

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

I’m at the @USPS online store. Gonna buy a bunch of cool stamps and a Mr. Zip T-shirt. Probably spend around $50. Any of you that can ALSO do that? Probably make it harder for Donald to justify shutting them down?

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

I won my bet that Dr. Fauci would pitch for the Nationals before America gets a second stimulus check.

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

Currently judging smiles in an outdoor wet facemask contest.

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

Maybe we don’t really have the world’s most Coronavirus cases. Maybe we’re just really bad at passing tests.

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

I miss a few months ago when the craziest idea I heard was to inject ourselves with bleach.

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

I wish this virus disappeared as fast as dignity...or civility...or humanity.

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

@pattonoswalt 2072? Ralph Nader

[Mr. Onederful® @ericonederful]

The rest of the world is watching America like America watched Tiger King.

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

Every press conference telling us to be socially distant has multiple people standing right next to each other while sharing a microphone...

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

Raising a child:
It takes a village

Raising what we can “afford”:
It takes a virus

[Michael Poole @mpoole365]

“May the wind be at your back...to blow you away from me.” - Irish Blessing

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, All!