Matty

Only when the last tree has been cut down, the last fish been caught, and the last stream poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money.

[Matty @mpstoehr]

When I get drunk and start telling people my dogs going to die soon (I’ve been saying it for 5 years)

[Kim Kardashian @KimKardashian]

This will be the last time I speak on this because honestly, nobody cares.

Sorry to bore you all with this. I know you are all dealing with more serious and important matters.

[Garage Beer @drinkgaragebeer]

RT for a chance to win a Lil Garage 🥶 (beer not included) (21+ to enter) (I’ll put a sticker in the box too)

[Four Loko @fourloko]

ITS FOUR LOKO FRIDAY Rt for your chance to win $20 for some Loko this weekend

[Pittsburgh Steelers @steelers]

🚨 Signed 2026 Steelers Draft Class Terrible Towel 🚨

RP for your chance to win!

[MrBeast @MrBeast]

I’m gonna give 10 random people that repost this and follow me $25,000 for fun (the $250,000 my X video made)

I’ll pick the winners in 72 hours

[Pittsburgh Pirates @Pirates]

RETWEET THIS for a chance to win 10 tickets to the July 29th Pirates vs Phillies game and a pre-game tailgate courtesy of @GiantEagle!

[T-Pain @TPAIN]

Where were you when I rhymed Mansion with Wiscansin?

[ESPN @espn]

MICHAEL BLOCK HOLE-IN-ONE‼️

YOU COULDN'T WRITE A BETTER SCRIPT 👏

[iyosias @iloveiyosias]

i want every barbershop closed within 100 miles of this domestic terrorist

[taylor santiago berger @taylorberger69]

& that’s that!!

[Mike Bird @Birdyword]

Something inherently funny about the phrase "Disney regrets that it has come to this"

[mel @memegodmel]

Not too fond of the new Snapchat AI

[jacksfilms @jacksfilms]

Fiona and I have divorced. Please respect our privacy.

[Cam Harless @camharless]

Have you ever wondered to yourself “what it would be like if all of the presidents had that creepy Benjamin Button disease?”

No?

Well, here’s another list of ai presidents you didn’t ask for, the presidents as elderly babies.

1. George Washington

[Cam Harless @camharless]

every american president, but they're all cool and they all sport a mullet

46. Joe Biden

[Doglover @puppiesDoglover]

Adopt a dog to take care of the house the dog

[Leah Lamarr @LeahLamarr]

Sam Smith is dressed for the funeral of the Chinese spy balloon. #SamSmith #BRITs

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

When the bartender asks if maybe you’d like a glass of water for this next one