martin thornton

HUDDERSFIELD TOWN keen Cyclist and NFL follower Pittsburgh Steelers fan dad of 2 girls and grandad occasional jogger

[martin thornton @mpt68]

@linzilovee bet Katie hasn’t got this ninja

[ayya @ayyasetyaa]

OMG who needs this air fryer???😭

[Brandon Tatum @TheOfficerTatum]

Smoothest loss prevention you'll ever see and the guy didn't even work there 😆

[Keir Wrong Un @keirwrong]

"Keir, put the cat down and come out. It's over"

[martin thornton @mpt68]

@linzilovee

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

In Mexico, a monkey slips into the same hotel every day, helps himself to breakfast, and casually walks back out

[martin thornton @mpt68]

@linzilovee Sarah and Barbara on holiday 😂😂

[British Banter @UKMemes2026]

🤩🤩

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

When she tries to help 😜

[British Banter @UKMemes2026]

👏👏

[martin thornton @mpt68]

@liamtuffs1 @ABridgen Excellent podcast this Liam
Please have him on again sometime

[martin thornton @mpt68]

@linzilovee and you think yours is bad 😄😄

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

The structure of a tigers tongue

[martin thornton @mpt68]

@RWTaylors @liamtuffs1 @_AdvanceUK @benhabib6 Great clip can’t wait to listen to the full podcast
Just a shame you can’t get more coverage on tv so more people can realise there is an alternative to Reform @GBNEWS

[martin thornton @mpt68]

@AndrewGold_ok @officialsammyuk @policylaila 👏👏 Speaks a lot of sense and not afraid to say what a lot of people think
Only hope she doesn’t fall out with Farage and get the Rupert Lowe treatment

[martin thornton @mpt68]

@RupertLowe10 Thank you @RupertLowe10 for your and your teams efforts 👏
Britain can be great again

[No Context Brits @NoContextBrits]

Christmas ruined.

[martin thornton @mpt68]

@linzilovee Never stopped u before 🤭🤭

[martin thornton @mpt68]

@linzilovee 🥂🍾

[karen thompson @karenfthompson]

Right then here goes...

ANNUAL RANT ALERT!!

Triggered by adverts and TV chefs😠😠

Christmas Dinner....
I have concluded that the inevitable stress of Christmas dinner is created by adverts, supermarkets and TV chefs...
It's a Sunday dinner for goodness sake!!! We do it quite happily 51 weeks of the year but can we the consumers be trusted to manage by ourselves on one day of the year...apparently not!
Here goes...
1. Turkey... It's a big fecking chicken that's all, 20 minutes per lb plus 20 minutes at 180 degrees - jobs a good un!
Get yourselves a meat thermometer £3 off the Internet poke it in the offending bird if it says 75 degrees or over it’s cooked!
2. Stuffing - regardless of what Jamie Oliver says you do NOT need 2lbs of shoulder of pork, onions breadcrumbs,pine nuts and a shit load of fresh herbs to make stuffing....( no fecking wonder he's bankrupt if thats what he spends to make stuffing!)
What you need is Paxo and a kettle!!
If you wanna liven it up squeeze 3 sausages out of their skins and mix that in with your Paxo before cooking 😉.
3. Gravy - Jamie Oliver is copping for this one aswell....
Gravy granules Jamie.... All you need is gravy granules!
I ( nor any other woman I know) has got time on Christmas Eve to piss about roasting chicken wings and vegetables, adding stock and flour,cooking it for another half hour, mashing it all up with a potato masher and then straining the whole sorry mess to make gravy 😠😠😠
4. Vegetables... Never mind faffing round shredding sprouts and frying them with bacon and chestnuts to make them more palatable... If you don't like them don't buy and cook the fecking things!! If your family only eats frozen peas then that's good enough!
5. Roast potatoes... Yes I par boil mine then roast them in goose fat but Aunt Bessie also does the same 😉.
6. Trimmings /Christmas pudding and the like.... Aldi or Lidl!
(oh and while we're on the subject of pudding- if birds custard is what your family likes on the wretched thing then that's fine - you do not need brandy butter /rum sauce etc or anything else that costs a fecking fortune and takes 2 hours to make!)
7. Family....
Children.. Feed the little blighters first separately, if they only want turkey with tomato sauce - fine leave em to it,
it doesn't matter.
Once they are fed bugger them off to play with their Christmas presents so that YOU can enjoy your dinner in Peace!
Adults...
Anyone that can manage to get their sorry arse to your dinner table is also capable of helping to serve up/ sort the kids out/ clear the table /wash up /dry up etc.
And Finally.....

NO ONE....
And I mean no one APART FROM THE COOK IS ALLOWED TO GET DRUNK AND FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE WASHING UP IS DONE!!!
Rant over 😂

Merry feckin Christmas!

[martin thornton @mpt68]

Bens back 🤭🤭 @linzilovee

[David Atherton @daveatherton]

Ben the toddler is back. "Ben what do mum & dad do?"

"Mum does OnlyFans & dad protests illegal hotels for a living".

[martin thornton @mpt68]

@linzilovee 🤭🤭

[History Defined @historydefined]

'Johnny Bravo', 1997

[martin thornton @mpt68]

@linzilovee

[David Atherton @daveatherton]

Ben the Toddler is answering all the right questions, like:

"Mum got arrested for racist tweets, 16 years ago."

[David Atherton @daveatherton]

AI Ben the toddler is at it again. Bless him he is seen with his green crayons changing Evergreen Trees to Christmas trees.