Megan Purgahn

As long as you’re happy who cares

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

Really trying to figure out how some 21 year olds can afford to buy 3 carat diamonds to propose to their girlfriends, meanwhile I had to put back some of my groceries at Aldi today

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

Successfully avoided getting shitfaced and making a fool of myself at my office holiday party so where’s my award?

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

Imagine if men were the ones that got pregnant and had to carry a baby inside them for 9 months…abortion would immediately be legalized everywhere and covered by health insurance. Someone tell me I’m wrong!!!

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

@Laurenchurch_ Physical touch is ~not~ my love language

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

@shamymich Honestly think you’ve done that more than one time.

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

You know a guy is excited about something when he goes and gets a haircut in preparation for that thing

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

You ever be so hungover that you actually drive the speed limit?

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

I don’t know about anyone else but not being able to try on clothes in stores anymore has really fucked my bank account

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

Having guy friends is all fun and games until you pay hundreds of dollars on extensions and none of them notice :/

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

@MegBoschert @hinge Hahaha I haven’t gotten that one yet damn 😂

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

I mean I know I’m always keeping my eye out for a sugar daddy but damn @hinge out of the thousands of men in my area THIS is who I’m most compatible with? (No offense Jerry)

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

@DrakeHammack @MarshMadnessss @_friday_beers Hahah I mean if the shoe fits

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

Guys make fun of girls for trying to become Instagram Influencers meanwhile they’re all out here trying to become @_friday_beers ambassadors huh

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

@MarshMadnessss lol my brother and sister got engaged in the span of 2 months, are getting married in the span of 5 months and it’s my YOUNGER brother and I just bought my first house plant so I’m right there with ya 😂

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

Regarding the question “if you were backed into a corner (no weapons), how many 7 year olds do you think you could fight before they overpower you?” If you think you could fight off 10+ kids you’re wrong and you clearly never had a 7 year old sibling. Max is 5 I promise.

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

A rando guy requested to be friends on Facebook and I accepted because he’s kinda cute and I’ve already stalked him to figure out his birthday and look at his zodiac to determine if we are astrologically compatible to fall in love. Meanwhile he probably added me by mistake so...

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

@Laurenchurch_ dugoutttt eating wings yes plz

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

I know it’s a Tuesday morning & there’s a million other things I should be thinking about but can y’all believe they still sell these? Are people no longer drinking an entire bag and almost needing to be hospitalized? Or was that just me & my friends on spring break 5 years ago?

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

@Laurenchurch_ My bad I thought it was Brandon. Did they run out of U’s on your name tag?

[Megan Purgahn @MPurgahn]

@Laurenchurch_ Ugh twist my arm we’re going out next Thursday k bitch?

[St. Louis Cardinals @Cardinals]

Mondays can be rough...

So, we’re giving away an Arenado home white jersey!

Retweet for your chance to win!