.@andrewschulz: "I say the craziest sh*t to the people I love the most. If me and you are friends and you're not kind of roasting me or clowning me a little bit, I don't really trust you. I would tell Black people if a White dude isn't like a little racist around you, then you shouldn't trust them. Because what is he thinking? He's thinking way more racist sh*t. They have to be a little racist. Let a little out. Just to know that you're safe."
@ShannonSharpe: "Then I have to lay him out." 😂
@andrewschulz: "When you look at the audiences at my shows, I would be concerned if I was in your situation if it was just like all White people and we're just laughing at minorities. That would be weird, but when you look at it, it looks like the U.N. They don't like Karens telling them what they should or shouldn't laugh at. Most people I see policing jokes are like some White guy on NPR from Maine who's never had a minority friend. To me, that's racist. It's racist that you assume they can't take jokes."
@ShannonSharpe: "I will give you credit. You talk about everybody."
@andrewschulz: "I think the second you stop doing it about one group then it becomes hateful. If I'm equally making fun of everybody, it's love. I genuinely want everybody to laugh when I say the jokes. People are awesome and their cultures are awesome."
Calling all my @nuggets fans. Here we go. Raffling off my ticket to the Kings vs @nuggets game. To enter the raffle, you must follow me, like, and retweet this post. The game is on March 5th at 7pm. I'll be announcing the winning on the 4th @ 1pm. Good luck, everyone. #Blessings 🙏🏽
"If the Republicans could take 5 minutes to remember one modicum of what they once pretended they stood for and pull Trump’s dick out of their mouths long enough for the oxygen to return to their brains, they might actually be able to acknowledge how batshit crazy it is to run a government like this... But of course, that would require a spine, and these bowls of jello have the collective courage of a baby deer caught in the middle of a 6-lane highway."
I’ve done a lot of promos over the years. This was the coolest. Shoutout The Martian!
My new special LIFE comes to @netflix March 4th. We’re watching as a family! INDULGE!
6 years ago, at this time, I was being loaded on a flight for life helicopter. I died. But was resuscitated. Amazing how things change. ENDURE folks. You’re capable of amazing things.✊💙