demigod dammit daniel

lemme see your titties.

kitties* god damn auto correct.

fuck. kitty*, as in your pussy. lemme see it.

i hate this phone.

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

@KarthyRose8pdn I'm in love. My girlfriend is giving me a+ oral right now yet here I am obsessively staring deep into your boomerang gif right here.... 😍😍😍

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

also u ask mom for help
u only seen people do it in movies
she said she would later but as usual she blows you off
last week she promised she'd find time to show u the ins and outs
by the end of the night, she hadn't done dick
she did, however, manage to jerk you around all night

[Emmy Bacon 🇨🇦 @EmmyStar79]

Twitter is a lot like sex. You're by yourself or in a gang.

Wait, what?

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

@Screwst0ne713 some songs i say sound dope like that, with the right system, with the right chemicals, in my system, but the songs that fall into that catagory are limited imo.

i prefer the lyrical side of music more than anything tho so most of what i like it just doesn't work

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

@PurpleTurtles33 or maybe this isn't an isolated tweet and i shouldn't assume it to be such a thing. i apoligize. i'm tired

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

@PurpleTurtles33 i have an uncanny ability to spot human behavior no matter how overshadowed it may be by secondary emotions and behaviors. you for example, choose to focus on people's weaknesses and most undesirable aspects, labeling them "pill heads" etc as you discard them from your concerns

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

@OhEmmeG OOOH. THAT'S NOT YOU IN THE PIC.

lmfao. you're that other oh emmy g. wow. i was stumped. thought you was a dude who just i dunno lmfao

wow what a baffled banana brain i be this morning

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

@OhEmmeG mayhaps i be slow but mayhaps i be not.

aka.. what?

is this a compliment fishing expedition? or maybe.. some meme i'm unaware of? oooh,. this is a reference to game of thrones i bet. i never did get into that. but this tweet has me thinking ima try again.

#thankyou #motivation

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

Somewhat clever in theory;
some kind of cleaver in practice.
Somewhere a cloven hoof drives into
someone's clavicle in rhythm
somehow to clive's song by hamish imlach

#poem #nonsense #poetic #isitdeep? #nuance #creative #silly #funny #fun #whatever

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

@angeldionnah handle you? is a fondle anything like a handle? lol actually, you might be 17. i am uh.. shit. how do you untype on a keyboard? i can't find the pencil eraser on this thing. whatevs

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

@VeronicaJArt @bitchesluvbim fuck. this depressed me hardcore. i can barely feed myself lately tho. and i don't mean like, i'm stuck eating macaroni every night. i mean, i'm going days without food because i .. well nvm. i need to get my shit together so i can make more impact on humanity where it needs it..

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

@VeronicaJArt @bitchesluvbim oh god. you're right. i hate how little we do to help those in the 3rd world. north korean labor camp families, 3 generations in depth, would be better off as jews in nazi germany. no joke. nazism was what? 15 years at most? 3 generations is like... 60+ years void of happiness?

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

@TitaniaMcGrath ok. so i read your tweet again. perhaps you are being fully facetious. lmfao. i'm tired.

also: poe's law. i can't really gather any tone of voice or whatnot. so, i took it at face value lol

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

@TitaniaMcGrath aha
i remember my point:

it seems like lgbt ppl exclude straight ppl
as tho they aren't also valid or noteworthy
i doubt u thought that
the impression is often made nonetheless
too much "us vs them" attitude exists in society
i battle such thinking
straight ppl can be gay too 🥰

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

@bitchesluvbim diet, depression, lack of exercise, medical condition, sleeping ineffectively, sleeping insufficiently, perhaps you aren't mentally stimulated often enough and your brain has begun to atrophy. could be any or all or even something else. the human condition is rather lame at times

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

@ShortyStacked @Laniblondie 1) so literally dry, oral contact results in an
immediate emergency scenario, a Fiji water makes it a three-way.
2) like an onion in that my eyes seem to be ceaselessly dripping
3) sour cream on my tongue
teeth crunching loudly
mouth agape
bus driver staring at me disapprovingly

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

yes plz

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

@DitzMcGeee @mrseanwright Ok tbh the initial tweet came across to me as cookie cutter comedy, but I can't argue with this apparently sharp af wittiness. that is a cyberdocumented <1min kneeslapper on the spot and off the top

unless you are also @mrseanwright ... hmm.. i'm on to you

[demigod dammit daniel @mr_dammit_dan]

@AbleLikes @treydayway As you follow me not, I must logically conclude that I haven't a fucking fantastic brain.

However, fantastic has dual meaning. (as does every word ever)

#1 regarded as very high quality

#2 regarded as fantasy, fictitious

therefore, i conclude that I both DO & DON'T have one!