Mr. Nize

Marriage & Family Counselor | Founder, BURELA Therapy | Helping couples communicate better, heal deeper & stay together| Honest conversations about lasting love

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

One of the hidden reasons many of us struggle internally with anxiety, low self-esteem, constant dissatisfaction, and a sense of never being enough, is that we spend our lives trying to become a version of ourselves that was never meant for us.

Somewhere along the way, we created an image of who we think we should be. Sometimes that image comes from society. Sometimes it comes from our families. Sometimes it comes from social media. And sometimes it comes from our own fears and insecurities.

We begin chasing this version relentlessly.

We tell ourselves we must have more money, more status, more recognition, a better body, a bigger house, a different career, or a different life before we can finally feel worthy.

But the more we chase, the further peace seems to move away. We get into a rat race.

The tragedy is that many people are exhausted not because life is difficult, but because they are carrying the burden of becoming someone they were never created to be.

The result is often endless comparison, disappointment, self-criticism, and emotional suffering. For some, the weight becomes so unbearable that it affects their mental health, relationships, and even their desire to keep going.

Perhaps the healing begins when we stop running.

Perhaps it begins when we sit quietly with ourselves and ask:

Who am I beneath all the expectations?

Which dreams are truly mine, and which have been handed to me by others?

What if I am already enough in this moment?

I often hear people say, “I’m not where I’m supposed to be.”

Whenever I hear that, I want to ask:

Who told you where you are supposed to be?

Who designed the destination you’re chasing?

Who created the timeline you’re measuring your life against?

Was it God?

Was it nature?

Was it society?

Or was it simply a collection of voices you’ve heard for so long that you’ve mistaken them for truth?

Because I do not believe God created us to spend our lives feeling inadequate.

I believe God meets us where we are.

Not where we think we should be.

Not where others expect us to be.

But where we are.

Right now.

In this moment.

This doesn’t mean we stop growing or pursuing our goals. It simply means we stop rejecting ourselves while we grow.

There is a difference between growth and self-rejection.

Growth says, I am grateful for who I am, and I want to become better.

Self-rejection says, I will not be happy until I become someone else.

One leads to peace.

The other leads to suffering.

So take a moment today to unbundle all the expectations, labels, comparisons, and pressures you’ve collected over the years.

Get to know yourself again.

Appreciate who you are.

Honor your journey.

Love the life that is unfolding before you.

Explore the beauty of the world around you.

And remember:

You do not need to become someone else to be worthy of love, joy, or peace.

Your life is not on hold until you arrive somewhere.

Life is happening now.

And perhaps the greatest gift you can give yourself is to fully live and embrace the person God created you to be today.

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

At some point, every relationship moves beyond the excitement and meets real life.

Bills. Disagreements. Disappointments. Temptation. Failure. Pressure.

And that’s when you begin to see something you couldn’t always see in the beginning.

How does this person behave when they’re angry?
When they’re wrong?
When nobody is watching?
When doing the right thing becomes inconvenient?

That’s where character begins to matter.

Character isn’t perfection. Good people make mistakes. What matters is what happens afterward.

Can they take responsibility? Apologise without excuses? Accept correction? Choose honesty over convenience and humility over pride?

Attraction may bring two people together, but character helps determine what happens when life gets difficult.

I’d love to hear from you, without anyone needing to share anything too personal:

What’s one lesson, good or difficult, that relationships have taught you about the importance of character?

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

Finding meaning in life makes the experiences more valuable

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

Someone asked me: “what’s the purpose of growing?”

After moments of silence, here’s how I answered him. The purpose of growth was never to keep us running, rather to enlarge our capacity to live, to love, to serve, and to become wiser.

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

There is a profound difference between growing and constantly feeling incomplete.

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

We need more men at home.

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

Marry someone who is compassionate

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

One thing I find interesting is how some people easily become offended when someone corrects them, challenges their behaviour, or invites them to do better.

Often, the response is, “I didn’t like the way you spoke to me.”

And sometimes that is valid. How we say things matters. Correction should come with love, empathy, wisdom, and respect.

But there is another side we don’t talk about enough:

What is the responsibility of the person receiving the correction?

If someone says something in a way we don’t like, does that automatically make what they said wrong? If the delivery was poor, does that mean there is nothing worth learning from the message?

Sometimes we focus so much on how something was said that we completely miss what was said.

Maturity is being able to say, “I didn’t appreciate how you communicated that, but let me honestly consider whether there is truth in what you said.”

At the same time, the person correcting us has a responsibility. If you want someone to grow, you cannot simply unload your frustration on them and call it correction. You have to consider the timing, the tone, and whether your words are addressing their behaviour or attacking their character.

But we also shouldn’t become so afraid of offending people that we stop telling them the truth. Sometimes difficult conversations are necessary, even when they are uncomfortable.

We need both sides.

Learn to correct people without humiliating them. And learn to receive correction without automatically becoming offended.

Not everything that hurts your feelings is an attack. Sometimes, it is an opportunity to look at yourself more honestly.

Real growth requires the humility to speak difficult truths with love and receive difficult truths with humility.

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

@__Inyene 34 looks great on you. Keep shining

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

@Millishield01 Volkswagen Passat and Santana used to amazing cars

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

Marriages and families are safe when they eat healthy. Producing fake food or drink is evil and unacceptable

[OurFaveOnlineDoc 🇬🇧 🇳🇬 @OurFavOnlineDoc]

This is fake Hollandia.

What exactly is NAFDAC doing????

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

Many African adults are trying to parent differently from how they were raised.

And it’s not easy.

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

What ads some hard truths about marriage many young people don’t want to hear?

Share.

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

Some people are not difficult to love.

They’re just emotionally exhausted, stressed, and carrying too much internally.

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

Stay healthy. Love yourself. Love your family.

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

The world is a beautiful place. Just travel and see.

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

One day everything will all make sense

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

Hang on! Keep doing the best you can. Soon, very soon, it will all come together.

[Mr. Nize @mr_nize_]

Happy New Month my friends ❤️