Mark Rivlin, one line jokes

Copywriter, one-line jokes comedian and member of the legendary Hackney Chess Club.

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

I got divorced on a cruise ship….it was a Decree Nice Sea.

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

I’m going to the Edinburgh Festival to help my mate Lee Flett.

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

My mate's set up a company selling marijuana....that's a canny biz.

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

More sents-off than a cheap perfume factory.

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

I love caring for inanimate objects....I left the door ajar.

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

I won the prestigious St John Ambulance 'Stretcher Bearer of the Year' award....but I'm not getting carried away.

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

I got an extra three months on my storage facility....I could hardly contain myself.

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

This year's Real Ale conference will be held in Camra.

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

If you are going to the seaside this summer, be sure to wear your Saxon the beach.

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

'Where do you see yourself in five years?'
'In the mirror.'

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

Southampton latest: The spy who came in from the goal.😉

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

It's the 100m Olympic final. What do the eight athletes have in common?
They've never missed a bus.

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

@JerryBarnett .e

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

I heard that Inspector Morse has moved to Leeds.

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

I hear that Batman and Robin are moving to Cape Town.

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

Is Donald Tusk the elephant in the room?

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

Did The Stranglers ever play in Boston?

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

My dental surgery waiting room has embraced the zeitgeist, it’s replaced magazines with second-hand mobile phones.

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

Music scores: Joe Loss and Gershwin.

[Mark Rivlin, one line jokes @mr_punman]

I’ll never do a gig again in Lancaster. I bombed.