Thomas Bailey

Thomas is larger than a breadbox, yet smaller than a giant anteater (he thinks). He lives in Melbourne. He writes things.

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@HitchEcstatic @Lloyd_Cole Well that’s f***ing rude

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@EpochInspired @Morbidful I’ll take “Shit That Never Happened” for $200, Alex

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@mrtonymartin @Judgenudge Freaking amazing. Check out the Criterion version

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@VonBitchPants @GumLeafWhistler @salvos I thought op shops used their profits to share with needy folk

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@MFWitches Ew. Like I needed another reason to not find @DHughesy funny

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@midgeure1 Yuck

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@katemildenhall Obviously designed to nick food from another patron’s plate

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@shaunmicallef You made his day! I hope you and yours had a lovely Christmas. Thank you! (PS—I adore the book as well)

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@shaunmicallef Hi! Here’s my son Reading your book on holiday. He loves it!

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@jjcoolau @PatsKarvelas I ironic usage or the word “elites”, paired with easily avoided misspellings and a backhanded remark about climate change, sort of pigeonholes you into a group that shouldn’t be taken seriously.

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@crytinyte @ShelleyACook @Chris_Meloni Well obviously serve hors d’oeuvres

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@maleoldfart @barriecassidy Booo. But yay!

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@FScottNorman Midnight Soil!

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@declanf “Our instruments have no way
Of measuring this feeling
Can never cut below the floor
Or penetrate the ceiling”

Opener ‘Destination’ off Starfish by The Church

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@lilleyjuice

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@GWillowWilson @thejayfaulkner Well I for one don’t want a restaurant in my backyard. I’d never get a moment of rest.

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@joncoopertweets Well, DUH

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@MrJoshEarl Lebanon Hanover! They’re amazing

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@shaunmicallef Shouldnae left the chippies inna the car

[Thomas Bailey @mr_thomas_bee]

@joncoopertweets