Derek Payne

Creative director and copywriter in the Middle East. Former resident of Lebanon with a fat file at the Surete General.

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

The Clacton count will take ages. Just look at them trying to iron out the ballot papers. https://t.co/wlbOjwVmhc

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

@DvdPicon Official Fulham media says the both sides agreed that there wouldn’t be a penalty shootout.

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

@WhiteNoise1879 Looking forward to us employing this tactic in the shootout against Wimbledon.

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

@FulhamFC Malaga have equalised

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

@WestHam @WhiteNoise1879 A settler colonialist in a stadium the locals don’t want. Seems appropriate.

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

@WhiteNoise1879 After a restless night Marco woke up in a cold sweat. ‘ I dreamt I’d accepted the Fulham U21 job.’

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

@65brighty @WhiteNoise1879 Two seasons ago. Newcastle were overrun for 30 mins when someone walked from the dugout to have a word with the keeper. He went down, momentum broken, we lost.

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

@AndyC691226 @WhiteNoise1879 Had a drink with him in Cyprus in 2019. Made a special journey to be there when he was told a Fulham fan was in the taverna. Top bloke.

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

@WhiteNoise1879 It’ll happen in the Riverside. And then it’ll stop when someone complains about getting sprayed with Margaritas during a goal celebration.

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

@AnnieChave It has a real identity problem exacerbated by seeing people playing for the away team at their own home ground. Why should we care who wins under those circumstances?

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

@NicholasTyrone Oh dear, Nick.

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

Messi irrelevant.

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

Good lad, Wayne.

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

Honestly, I think I preferred it when the halftime entertainment was the Dagenham Girl Pipers.

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

@lewis_goodall By your own admission you don’t understand football and its roll in society. Maybe just accept that you’re wrong.

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

Appalling tactical substitutions by Tuchel. He had no answer.

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

England hanging on.

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

@KarlreMarks That explains why Spain are wearing the Belgian kit and Belgium came as Real Madrid.

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

Oh dear. Delete.

[Foreign, Commonwealth & Development Office @FCDOGovUK]

⚠️ There is an increased risk of losing to England at approximately 10pm on Saturday 11 July.

We recommend monitoring the situation closely 😉⚽

[Derek Payne @mrderekpayne]

@AnnieChave @CricketSociety @RafNicholson I was there. I remember a write up in the London Evening Standard where its male correspondent was noted to wince at the women’s high-pitched celebration of a wicket. Thankfully, attitudes have changed for the better. Pioneers every one of them.