PurelyUntethered

I once worked for a suicidal hotline but was quickly fired for singing the M*A*S*H theme song over the phone

[PurelyUntethered @mrdreamscape]

https://t.co/YI7LnpMMFx hey hey now

[PurelyUntethered @mrdreamscape]

@peeanofreek https://t.co/ywXjlikT6u welcome to the club dumpster fire

[PurelyUntethered @mrdreamscape]

Worst of the beta whites https://t.co/0Wg85pmc8I

[Leaflet @Audacious_Leaf]

What in tarnation

[Carl Benjamin 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @Sargon_of_Akkad]

"Why are people angry at Anita?"

[PurelyUntethered @mrdreamscape]

#Noted guys: when girls do it, it's cute! But when guys do it, it's stalkerish. https://t.co/q94vISwWOy

[Greg Butera @gbutera09]

From the twisted mind of Ron Bennington comes a horror movie like no other....
#KidKiller Coming Soon. #Bennington

[Dr. Li Qi Huang @martian_munk]

Why does Shaun King get a pass but Rachel Dolezal doesn't? 🤔

[Anthony Cumia @AnthonyCumia]

What are you supposed to do when someone leaves a gas credit card in the pump?
🤔

[Jim Norton @JimNorton]

MY MOST IMPORTANT VIRAL VIDEO YET - Laughter. RT for the sake of laughter.

[Anthony Cumia @AnthonyCumia]

You know #ChuckBerry actually DID all the terrible things #Trump was being accused of doing by the same people who are now honoring Chuck. 🤔

[PurelyUntethered @mrdreamscape]

Holy shit this is great https://t.co/T0cXdhKlmY

[Anthony Cumia @AnthonyCumia]

Why don't you set a course for shut the fuck up.
Warp 9 https://t.co/CfbtOzFOQR

[Mercedes Carrera @TheMercedesXXX]

Thank you Sister @miakhalifa for your wonderful and inspiring message 😂👍

[PurelyUntethered @mrdreamscape]

Same https://t.co/hXqg5KJzet

[Ku @EstherKuKu]

The only exes I keep in touch with are the ones I still masturbate to.

[PurelyUntethered @mrdreamscape]

Ni-- https://t.co/ybGSMBaMko

[PurelyUntethered @mrdreamscape]

A degree is fake shit from a fake lesbian #cultureofdelusion https://t.co/FI3ChHQnSt

[margaret @MargaretsBelly]

Mom Dad can I have $100,000 for a degree in Writing Worlds

[PurelyUntethered @mrdreamscape]

Fucking thief! Shoot him!! https://t.co/d1gTb6y2by

[The Chip Chipperson Show @ChipChipperson]

Tssss walkin out of the store

[Kurt Metzger @kurtmetzger]

If I were Jamie Kilstein I'd start promoting myself as "The Shark That Woke Jumped."

[Colin Quinn @iamcolinquinn]

A good comic is a numbers cruncher. You look at statistics to see what people are talking about, then you write your jokes accordingly.

[PurelyUntethered @mrdreamscape]

@ArmouredSkeptic no popcorn?