Mr. Heiser

Teaching America's future (alcoholics)

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

Is beer a fruit

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

Was cutting some carrots earlier and knicked my little finger. Bled straight keystone. #becomethealcohol

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

Drinking#

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

Drunk

[Drunk America 🇺🇸 @drunkamerica]

ISIS Strip Club

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

#byeadolf

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

Adolf thought he could get at me like that just because I'm drubk on a beach

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

No hitler you may NOT come to the after party in my motel room #byefelicia

[Heiser®™ @HeiserJacob]

@ComedyCentral if you guys could just play #DrunkHistory all day, everyday that would be great.

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

@HeiserJacob not me

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

Saw George W on the beach n nearly shit myself #toodrubk #hesdead #right #ornah

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

Causin fuckery on the beach rn, I'll be in the history books after this lemme tell u #turnt #flieschmans

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

@kneebus did you get tequila in it or what

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

PCB was initially built up as a quality home for crop growing. #respect #crops #love

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

On my way to Panama City Beach. Going to museums and furthering my education. #SB2K15

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

Apparently a teaching license isn't good enough to get a shot of Flieschmans at dark horsey

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

@HeiserJacob YESSIR I AM 💁

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

Drunk #drunk

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

"Who let me out of the home?!?" -Jacob Heiser (me)

[Mr. Heiser @MrJacobHeiser]

@Mellly_Reed they would all be heiser. Stupid question. Very stupid question, sounds like one #bootyboo would ask ✌️