Alejandra

Wife to KJ 💑 Momma to PJ, TT 👦🏼👶🏼 and Fritz 🐶 Lover of Jesus, coffee, puppies, fashion, and fitness 💛🖤 | This is my parenting journal

[Justin Timberlake @jtimberlake]

🫶🏻

[Justin Timberlake @jtimberlake]

So five guys walk into an elevator…

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

Three just declared: my baths are over!

I thought I had some time before this phase. . . Like 10 years or so?

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

PJ said: Gooferball soccer ball

I heard: Gooferball saggy balls

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

I honestly only listen to @ThisAmerLife to hear what @toreymalatia says at the end of each episode.

[Susan Simpson @TheViewFromLL2]

She's six months old now, and the only thing about parenting I truly understand is that the moment you think you've gotten the hang of things – you will immediately have an entirely new baby on your hands, and you start over from scratch.

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

@BoggsBeard27 No one prepares you for how much kids vomit.

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

Another thing I don’t want to forget: pj’s current love of dump trucks and dumping things.

“Ima dump truck”
“Ima dump it”

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

The 2 year old just called baby powder butt sugar 😂 and I will never refer to it differently.
#kidssaythedarndestthings

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

Things I never want to forget: The way my two year old says “Tarwash, I don like it. I frow up.”

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

Seeing my male coworkers reactions to me telling them I was out last week due to mastitis is almost as painful as having it. 🙄

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

Having someone look you in the eye while the crap their pants is a whole other level of bonding.

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

Today’s edition of things I never thought I’d say: please take your fork out of your nose.
🤦🏻‍♀️
#toddlermom

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

Previously my favorite thing I said but never imagined I would was: Please stop putting your rosary on your penis.

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

Having two kids is fun. It sparks all new conversations with things I never thought I’d have to say. In the last 24 hours I’ve said the following:

Please stop taking pictures of your brother’s ballsack.

Get that out of your mouth, that has pee on it. Your brother peed on that.

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

Having two kids is fun. It sparks all new conversations with things I never thought I’d have to say. In the last 24 hours I’ve said the following:

Please stop taking pictures of your brother’s ballsack.

Get that out of your mouth, that has pee on it. Your brother peed on that.

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

@CoxComm what wonderful customer service you have. Rewarded for staying with you by being charged $100 installation fee, when we were promised free installation during price shopping. . .

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

So today is like every other day? 🤷🏻‍♀️😬

[Starbucks @Starbucks]

Today is a good day for Cold Brew.

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

When I ask my boss a question and he responds with one word, I want to respond back with “k”. As like a word checkmate.

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

This makes me sooooo hesitant to buy or eat any other @GeneralMills cereal. 🤢

[Alejandra @mrs_aljohnson]

@jennylin7 😂😂😂 I’m jealous of anyone who has the budget to make those stocking stuffers.