Carl Quotes

Carl says things. This is a place where we record and cherish the sayings that were never meant to be. Don’t let that wisdom from Carl fool you.

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“That’s how mad I was. I got the worst bubble gum ever”

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“It was a deep hole bathroom”
Translation: an outhouse

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“It’s like for country and family, or country and sport or whatever that saying is”
Translation: for king and country.

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“The smash burger sounds advantageous”
-what exactly would be the advantages of a smash burger?
“You know, it would be really good”

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“She put her car in brake”

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“Can you trim the toenail on my 3rd foot?”
Translation:toe, middle toe.

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“I put some of the sauce from the pan on my turkey. It was pretty good”
Translation:I liked the gravy

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“You know on Toy Story when Buz lightyear dresses up as Mrs. pucklefuff?”
No, I do not.

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“What’s the guy from Oliver Twist?-it’s too crispy, Man! ?”
Translation-Oliver and company was what we were going for here.

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“This pillow is like a paperclip. “
Translation: this pillow is as thin as a sheet of paper.

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

I could eat a sleeve of sushi

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“Do you know where my eye subscription is?”
Translation: do you know where my contact prescription is?

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“Is that dog a stranger?”
What??
“Is that pup all alone?”
Are you trying to ask me if that dog is a stray?
Oh, yes

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“We need to take all of our electricals with us” what are you talking about? “You know, like our laptops and iPads”

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“Can you take the implants out before you wash my shoes?”
Translation: insoles

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“Oh look the neighbors got a jumping gym”
Translation: they got a bounce castle

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“Greenville is the claw of the north”

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“I looked like someone in Mary poppins on a business trip.”Translation- I had to run through the rain with an umbrella and a toolbox.

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“I bet that car gets some good gas to the gallon” *miles per gallon*

[Carl Quotes @mrscarldaley]

“My room had a sunroof” -a skylight