Crystal Rogers

You found me! These are my tweets.

[Crystal Rogers @mrscrystalrose]

My new foster dogs likes my husband more than me. My jealous rage is blinding.

[LEN @jaaayLENo]

Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore

[fe @p4ydafe]

if yo family start fighting on thanksgiving go live.

[Louis Peitzman @LouisPeitzman]

YouTube TV has fully frozen during WWHL. I will not forget this.

[Crystal Rogers @mrscrystalrose]

Is this an example of high-low pricing? @BoutiqueRugs #deceptivesalestactics

[ICYMI News OK @ICYMInewsOK]

Campus Corner in Norman. 4:00p today. #bedlam @reeseg_3

[Crystal Rogers @mrscrystalrose]

My grandparents are the cutest. They tell Alexa, “Thank you.”

[julia reinstein 🚡 @juliareinstein]

man I miss precedented times

[John Lurie @lurie_john]

A lot of big companies are in this together with me. They have my back. They tell me on the television.

[Emily Murnane @emily_murnane]

Every day I put off showering because I’m gonna exercise first but then I never exercise so then i never shower and now we’re in a real pickle

[Emily Murnane @emily_murnane]

Every work email I send:

Hey!
Sorry to bug you!
Was just wondering
(If it’s not too much trouble)
Would it be possible to do thing you said you’d do?
Totally fine if not!
Prob my fault anyway I’m an idiot :)
Sorry to bother you!
Sorry I exist!
So sorry!
Just let me know!
Emily

[Karli Marulli @karlimarulli]

Hey sharks
I won’t take up too much of your time, my idea is baby carrots that aren’t soaking wet

[Carmen Lagala @CarmenLagala]

I get the sense that a lot of people who say they like their coffee black don't like it black but it's worth drinking bitter so they can lord over others in a made-up value system where you're less-than if you add sugar or milk. Anyway I really want to leave the house.

[Carmen Lagala @CarmenLagala]

Me in the shower: I have to leave this pre-conditioning moss and fig hair mask in for 15 minutes, which is perfect because I can simulataneously do my pink Himalayan salt foot soak!

Boyfriend in the shower: nice, this face wash is also dog shampoo

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

Oops didn’t realize how much of my mental health hinged on casually going to the grocery store 3-4 times a week

[Sal Vulcano @SalVulcano]

Might fuck around and put up my Christmas tree.

[JP @jpbrammer]

I believe that she did

[Chris Black @donetodeath]

What's the worst content right now ... Bread baking, adults on TikTok, or the push-up contest? Tough to say!