Jennifer Monroe

[Matty @bestestname]

It's that time of year when we have to decide how to pronounce "pecan". Everyone pick a side.

[Jennifer Monroe @MrsJKM]

Writing a paper after 11 p.m. has me googling, "smarter sounding word for calmness"

Half way through my second semester back in school and all indication is that I am thriving. 😂

It's tranquility, btw.

[Jennifer Monroe @MrsJKM]

@shanenyman I’m so sorry Shane. It’s all so heartbreaking, and I can’t believe they let you go.

[Jennifer Monroe @MrsJKM]

Middle child has requested a meeting this evening so she may discuss her Google Slide presentation of her Christmas List. It is *checks calendar* October 5.

This is very middle child. I might live stream it.

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

Kids be like “I don’t like these strings on my banana, I think I’ll take them off and just rest them here on this throw pillow.”

[Jennifer Monroe @MrsJKM]

Me: If I were her lawyer I would have had a real hard time not trying to work “Schabusiness” into more puns.

Shawn: Jennifer Kathleen. It was a murder trial. Have some respect.

.

May he rest in peace.

[Jennifer Monroe @MrsJKM]

My husband telling me I went a little too extra on bronzer this morning:

"The top half of your face looks like a different color from the bottom half. If you did it on purpose, I really like it. I wonder if you should check though."

😂 Love that man.

[Shematologist, MD @acweyand]

It would be nice if my Apple Watch told me to have a treat, or take a nap, or buy myself some new shoes instead of just always telling me to stand up.

[Jennifer Monroe @MrsJKM]

It's the last week of my first semester back at school and I have two big papers due Friday.

Feels like the perfect time to reorganize my home office.

[Jennifer Monroe @MrsJKM]

Just got an email from my daughter's high school principal welcoming the incoming freshman class, so I'm going to print off a bunch of her baby pictures, crawl under the covers and just...sob for a little bit. IT'S FINE.

[Jennifer Monroe @MrsJKM]

@fordm10 Is it a full or part time position?

[Jennifer Monroe @MrsJKM]

Randomly, my 14-year-old:

14: I am NOT having a super small wedding. So you guys better start saving UP!

*silence*

14: Like it’s going to be in Hawaii and there have to be cliffs in the background.

🫡 For sure, for sure.

[Jennifer Monroe @MrsJKM]

Finn: I love summer. There’s no silent reading time.

Me: What!? You love reading.

F: yeah but I hate being silent! At home we can have loud reading.

M: like reading out loud?

F: no, like sometimes when I’m reading I can just yell to everyone and it’s fine.

Weird but true.

[Jennifer Monroe @MrsJKM]

Husband: I think Rosie is sick. Maybe we should call the vet.

14-year-old: did you tell her to just drink water and put her phone down for a little bit like when I tell you I don’t feel well!?

14-year-old walks into the room to see husband holding the dog like a baby.

Yep 😂

[Jennifer Monroe @MrsJKM]

@tr1ppn Congrats Eddie!!!

[Jennifer Monroe @MrsJKM]

"I am NOT eating those eggs, because you broke the yolk just like you broke my heart."

Raising teenagers is ✨so fun✨

[Jennifer Monroe @MrsJKM]

Still going to try it this weekend.

[Washington State Dept. of Natural Resources @waDNR]

There are innumerable mental health benefits of spending time in nature, but that doesn’t mean coming into the forest and screaming “fix my life” at the trees.

[Jennifer Monroe @MrsJKM]

Sometimes at night my husband and I just sit and talk about how awesome our dog is. Sometimes I think we should also talk about how much we love our kids, but if you met this dog you’d probably understand.

[Jennifer Monroe @MrsJKM]

At the hardware store with Finn…

Finn, loudly: oh we should get one of these for dad!
Me: oh yeah? I don’t know…
F: I heard him say he was all out of cocaine. We should get him some.

Shock. Stares. Panic.

It’s called PROPANE, buddy. And yeah, grab two.

[Jennifer Monroe @MrsJKM]

Found the world’s largest centipede in the house a few days ago and just pulled a tick off my middle child.

I miss winter.