redyellowgreendance 💃🏻

Mom to two hilariously quotable boys. Link to my tweets:

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

Me: <Face ID attempt>

Phone: “Who the F are you?”

Me: <sprinkles sleep crust across eyelids, pulls 27 frizzy strands out of bun, executes quadruple chin>

Phone: “Oh it’s you, come on in”

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

@deloisivete @terrip38

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

@whoowhootoot

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

Comment with a GIF from Seinfeld about your current state of mind. Go!

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

@JamtaayKa Nope that’s not it lol

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

@SeinfeldScholar

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

@RunningSunflowr

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

It’s fun having kids with creative minds that never stop because they will decide to create a concoction in the kitchen and then it becomes your project

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

@NotTodayEric Braided belt?

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

@Teebsnh3 “What’s the difference between opossum and possum?”

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

I imagine my AI is gossiping about me over drinks to its other AI friends, like “Guys guys guys, listen to what she asked me today…”

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

@NotTodayEric @NotTodayMother

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

@dadmann_walking @deloisivete

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

Nobody:

12: “You can’t control farts but you can control burps”

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

@deloisivete @terrip38

[meghan @deloisivete]

Cutting your sandwich vertically instead of diagonally so you know I'm mad

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

Medical professionals love it when you give them suggestions re: your diagnosis and treatment

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

@JoeDokes68 @dadmann_walking

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

My sons cough and sneeze directly into my nostril holes, so I think I’m entitled to double dip my celery into their peanutbutter jar

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

@rn_murse