Sheila Shay

I’m the wife of Fred and mom of the amazing Ryan. Lisa, too. When I'm not running the PTA, I'm busy perfecting my pot roast or brushing my Shirleys' hair.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

This is honestly the only chance you have to make me proud, San Diego. You'd better be watching #SelfieABC.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

It is my most fervent hope that Victor Ha grow into Henry Higgs of #SelfieABC.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

Are you watching #SelfieABC right now, West Coast? Don't lie! I'll know if you're lying!

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

West coast! Redeem yourselves! Watch #SelfieABC tonight at 8 and 8:30.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

Cleanliness is next to godliness. So is #SelfieABC. Watch it tonight at 8 and 8:30 or suffer eternal hellfire.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

Every time I look at Katie Couric I can't help wondering when the mask will slip and we'll see her for the Faustian dealmaker I know she is.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

.@atleve There are exceptions Yvette. In this case, the exception happens to be the Queen Mum and I, and she's dead, so it's just me.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

I'll participate in Luke Appreciation Day just as soon as you can tell me why we're not doing this for Tom Selleck.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

Because you didn't show enough empathy when Fred double-blinded me, we will be replaying the episode tonight. Learn to care, people.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

My deepest thanks to those who informed on Fred. Calls me a cow and then tries to hide it. The man's lucky he's still alive.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

.@atleve Highjacked? I am simply offering sound. Roses are for sluts. I refuse to entertain them in my home.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

#GirlsLoveGuysWho respect their desire to wait until marriage. #WhyBuyTheCow

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

.@atleve Depends on where you stand on meat then.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

.@atleve No, Yvette. Because I'm a democracy loving American.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

.@MauteCarr @KayGardiner The apocalypse.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

I'm giving up biting my tongue for Lent. Get ready for the truth, because it's going to be all kinds of ugly.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

I'm taking the evening off to slow jam Leviticus with the Baptists.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

The polar vortex is God's way of keeping you from dressing like a common whore.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

Time to nip this Crimea thing in the bud. I'm going to need some duct tape, two hummingbirds, and directions to Putin's cave.

[Sheila Shay @mrssheilashay]

.@shibacindy Are you a Pilgrim's fan?! God bless. God bless.