tim

Serial hugger. IG: mrt1m. Snapchat: timtippa

[Meech @DemetriusHarmon]

Come Ove-
Come To This Part-
Come See M-

[Vic @VictorPopeJr]

Why Twitter cant like any two artists, food, or athletes at once? Cant even tweet about oxygen without somebody bringing up Carbon Dioxide.

[tim @mrt1m]

If Trey Songz was a race car 😂😭 https://t.co/VFlW4VGISd

[Vic @VictorPopeJr]

#JustBecauseWeBothTheUglyFriendDontMeanWeAMatch

[tim @mrt1m]

Don’t bother inviting me to your wedding if you don’t have an alpaca.

[tim @mrt1m]

Don’t you just hate when a song gets stuck in your head and you can’t work wa wa wa work work

[Pundamentalism @Pundamentalism]

Ha - mildly amusing
Haha - funny
Hahaha - sarcastic laugh
Hahahaha - stayin' alive

[tim @mrt1m]

Bro, do you even lift His name on high?

[tim @mrt1m]

We still going out tonight? Please don't flake on me bro.

Me: https://t.co/VyNgGxOKs4

[tim @mrt1m]

[shows up for a bowling date with my own bowling shoes]

[Tom Moutchi @TomMoutchi]

When your Dad is sleeping but he is still watching TV 😂😂😂😂

W/ @DemzChappelle

[Vic @VictorPopeJr]

Pulled over by the police

[tim @mrt1m]

That time Adele called Lionel https://t.co/yeZRidE7uI

[tim @mrt1m]

“Omg come quick, she’s gonna say her first words!”
Baby Minaj: mm-ma-ma-MILEY WHATS GOOD?

[tim @mrt1m]

[playing flute]
Look look it’s a snake charmer.
“Ey yo snake! You cute as hell.”
Snake: [blushes] sssstahp.

[Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD Bioplasticity @BuckyIsotope]

Straight outta Compton, crazy motherfucker named Ice Cube

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

Me - "I'm getting a hint of cinnamon...and... a suggestion of summer berries perhaps?"
Girl whose pussy I'm eating - "what the actual fuck"

[tim @mrt1m]

Even if you’ve had a terrible day, you probably haven’t experienced the worst day of your life yet.