mr. talking potato

🥔 | A Talking Potato born in 1996.
🙈 | I draw this to avoid therapy.
😎 | Degenerate w/ gambling and carbohydrate addiction. 🍕
🥨 | Read more here ⬇️

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

If we have another civil war, I will hide in a baskins robbins.

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

No call. no show.⁠
⁠
#bong rip.⁠
Let's roll.⁠
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#selfcare #drawing #art #cartoon #comics #bestof #manga #animeart #geek #angel #nerd #indiefilm #comedy #yogamoms #charcoaldrawing #painting #nft #jokes #laughs #love #instagood #fashion #beautiful #zoom #legalizeit #pot

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

Hey, what were you doing in #1987?

Basically, I was wearing this #duster and trying to get to #Australia !

#trave
#illustration #drawing #art #cartoon #comics #sketch #zoom #comedy #standup #painting #nft #jokes #laughs #love #instagood #fashion #beautiful #bae #springbreak

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

Story time thread.
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TP appreciates you. ⁠
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#businesstravel #workfromhome #zoom #springbreak ⁠
#illustration #drawing #art #cartoon #comics #sketch #bestlife #manga #animeart #geek #zoom #comedy #convention #standup #painting #nft #jokes #laughs #love #instagood

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

"This diaper is not yet full."

Do you feel these vibes?

.
#doodle #momlife😂 #momlifebestlife #comic #instagood #momlife💞 #momlifebelike #motivation #memes💕 #momlife💜 #momlifechallenge #darkmemes #darkhumor

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

Alright! Who's going to sell me my next hooded #sweatshirt!?⁠
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#reallife #hoodie #illustration #drawing #art #cartoon #comics #sketch #bestlife #manga #animeart #geek #indiefilm #comedy #painting #nft #jokes #laughs #love #instagood #fashion #beautiful #bae #vibes

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

I zoomed in... This dude is a damned #dapper #dandy #gentleman.

#tweed #foggylondontown

#illustration #drawing #art #cartoon #comics #sketch #bestlife #manga #animeart #geek #indiefilm #comedy #yogamoms #charcoaldrawing #painting #nft #jokes #fashion #beautiful #bae

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

"What didn't you understand when I said "sell the horse, keep the pony?"

#ponyofinstagram #ponylife #showjumping #horselove #horses #dressage #horseriding #ponylove #equestrianlife #photooftheday #beautiful #pferd #ponyliebe #doodle #comic #horsetrack #offtrackbetting

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

I say we all hide out in an abandoned cracker barrel restaurant until this all blows over.

Agree 100%

#crackerbarrel #oldtyme #biscuits #yolo #yachting #springbreak
#illustration #drawing #cartoon #comics #nft #jokes #laughs #love #instagood #fashion #beautiful #bae #hideout

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

From the vault circa 2010...

"Gary Gratitude gets gorgeous grades, now get going Gabriel. no more #gameboy."

#gameboy #nintendo #gaming #eports #1990s #comic #drawing #writing #shortstory #nonfiction #doodle #sharpie #grafitti #paint #angels #bible #retrogaming #videogames

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

Your #ecigarette burned a hole in my #esports jacket!

#ttyl dude.

#illustration #drawing #art #cartoon #comics #sketch #bestlife #manga #animeart #geek #indiefilm #comedy #yogamoms #charcoaldrawing #painting #nft #jokes #laughs #love #instagood #fashion #electronicsports

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

toasty angel food cake

cool whipped cream

chilled crisp strawberries

what else is there...

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

the tree was full of crab apples

no one told me that those

weren't for eating

too sour

I walked back to the road,

still no sign of the tow truck

my hound dog panting in his sleep

in the shade of the car.

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

The white wall tires

floated slowly up to the speaker stand

humid air now sitting around us

you spoke evenly saying

-two cheeseburgers, two fries, and two strawberry malts please

wait no, I want a chocolate malt

ok, change one to chocolate

we sat, waited

too hot to talk

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

I was fine on the ropes course

until we arrived at the bridge

-who would string up

old wooden planks between

trees

eighty feet off the ground?

no thanks, I'm going back

to the mess hall

for some of that pecan pie...

see ya at the campfire.

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

I drove along

the highway

the trees a green blur

outside the window

every color of candy sprinkle

unhooked from the chocolate frosting

and fell off the into my lap

I focused on the road

and the flavor - the donut still warm from the fryer.

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

we could hear the bear

outside the tent

the sun was just breaking

and pale yellow light was outlining

the massive fuzzy creature

I woke up sweating

it was a dream

but why is there a sleeping raccoon

next to me?

why is there trail mix all over the tent floor?

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

The half empty restaurant

caused the light r&b on the stereo

to bounce around the room

tinny

my forearm fit perfectly into the wooden

edge of the bar

I sipped the whiskey and

calmly thought of where I was

going to find that much money this late in the day...

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

The sails popped and filled with wind

after we had floated along all morning

unlucky

sitting up near the bow

you turned around, excited

the light in your eyes identical to

the first time you tasted champagne

as our boat cut through the growing waves

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

The tinted blue clouds

rolled over the old apple orchard

and the bright green grass

leaned over in the wind -

I decided to make some lemonade

and skim a worn book on

forestry in the 19th century

right then, the cat looked over at me and squinted...

[mr. talking potato @mrtalkingpotato]

I rang the bell - waited in the breezeway

there were no sounds

you weren't getting ready

- realized - I had

only been here once before, drunk on dark rum and colas -

wrong house wrong town

I returned to the warming sidewalk, the sun hitting me through the

palm leaves.