All parents traumatize their children. People hurt people. We traumatize each other, sometimes unintentionally. The work isn't to be perfect, it's to apologize, to be humble, and to keep trying to do better.
That's how you create a healthy family.
Maturity is realizing that people are projecting their past and their limitations. They're too busy thinking about themselves to be judging you. And they're making things up as they go. Living for other people is the path to misery.
I refuse to fall in love to “potential” behavior. I refuse to bend anymore to “make” a relationship work. I will not wait around, bend for, or love feckless men…
“Normal” things in our society that are actually dysfunctional:
— Expecting everyone to be available at all times (lack of boundaries).
— Confusing codependency, people pleasing, and self-betrayal as empathy or love.
— Raising children to perform or achieve from a young age as an extension of their parents self worth.
— Expecting our partners to fix, rescue or save us or to “make us happy.”
— Using food, alcohol, shopping, substances or avoiding numbing our emotional pain.
— Having a job that makes you feel burnt out, exhausted, and dreading the start of a work week.
Is there anything else that you would add?