the biggest lesson i took from irl kink spaces: you can't be welcoming to everyone simultaneously. you can uninvite an abuser and deal with the fuss, or you can let them keep showing up, and you might not even notice how many other people quietly stop coming back...
the fun part of pet ownership is that every now and then they'll start acting funny and the cure will either be that they need to take a dump or have a $3000 surgery and you just get to guess which one you're dealing with