💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦

If you’re looking for smart, funny and clever tweets you’ll have to look elsewhere. I gained most of my followers from licking a bottle cap😕.

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

If I’m tweeting, then you can bet your sweet ass I’m drinking 🍷

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

HiberMating:
A Canadian term after weeks of -30+ temps

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

5:03 am . First selfie for 2020. It’s all downhill from here

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

It’s 4:20am and I’m cleaning my kitchen from a night of drinking and dancing. Everyone has left or is in bed and I have Boston on blast. It’s been a beautiful farewell to 2019. Hope you all had a good one too 💋

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

You need an Impala...there will be more than a fan belt squealing 😉

[Wolfmann 🇨🇦 @wolfmannjr]

The only squealing I hear in my car is when the fan belts are loose

[Wolfmann 🇨🇦 @wolfmannjr]

You have not seen fear in a man’s eyes until you find him shopping at the gas station store at 11pm on Christmas Eve

[Wolfmann 🇨🇦 @wolfmannjr]

Rise of Skywalker? That already happened when Leia kissed Luke in episode IV and all the nerds chubbed up. Right, nerds?

[Wolfmann 🇨🇦 @wolfmannjr]

I’m starting a line of Under Armor clothes for dad bods and calling it Sausage Skin. Looking for investors

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

My girlfriend told me tonight that she always positions herself in the middle of the bed so she doesn’t have to sleep in the ‘wet spot’!
and here I AM sleeping on the wet spot on my pillow!!! WTF

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

My ripped jeans look sexy until I sit down...then it’s all thigh moguls

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

The best part about gaining 20lbs since Thanksgiving (besides bigger boobs) is it really fluffs out my wrinkles.

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

@solsayswhaaa 😘 Thank you 💖

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

@solsayswhaaa

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

@adrianmyreality OMG!!! Dated a boy with a Dodge Dart!!!! Close second!!🙌🏼

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

If you didn’t have sex in the back of a Impala in the 80’s did you really lose your virginity?

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

@batman747

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

Why the fuck can’t we smoke weed or cigs indoor anymore? Jesus Christ! Oops sorry that’s offensive too🙄

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

@retsbew1974

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

@ca_mbam

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

@ca_mbam

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

@ca_mbam Yes!!!!’

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

@fishahollik

[💋Ms.Shevus 🇨🇦 @MShevus]

@iefun1 Oh my, I could never do that!