jab

Be a bad bitch, but a good person.

Food markets excite me.

[jab @MsJacoBurke]

@samreich Hey Sam, where do you get your ties from? Need to get some for my husband. #plz

[𝘱𝘺𝘳𝘢 ໒꒱ @cospyra]

by age 20 you should have:

- joined a discord you don’t talk in
- a video game you spent too much money on
- an unhealthy attachment to a fictional character
- a friend from a completely different part of the world that you never met IRL but you’d trust with your life

[jab @MsJacoBurke]

Yaaaaa, my world's collide.

[Scuderia Ferrari HP @ScuderiaFerrari]

Just training our newest pit crew member 👊 @DjokerNole

#QatarGP 🇶🇦 #F1

[jab @MsJacoBurke]

@JoshJohnson YA!!! Minne is the first place and so soon after your upcoming show. Swear to gawd if you need someone to bum around with you at the cherry and spoon to try and explain it please hit me up. See you SOON.

[Aaron Konter @MyJewishGuilt]

How do I get a job writing these texts

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Report: Oh God, Unplugging TV Won’t Turn It Off

[Ashley Reese @offbeatorbit]

well here we go #debate2024

[jab @MsJacoBurke]

I don't understand why professional networking events use club music as the slide deck background tunes. Going hard at 1030AM.

[Yash @BrawlYash]

@notgwendalupe sharpay being blind for 4 seconds in high school musical

[jab @MsJacoBurke]

Scandalous...

Tyson Foods suspends CFO John R. Tyson after second arrest (https://t.co/VZamGcsL9M)

[jab @MsJacoBurke]

But I am le tired.

[jab @MsJacoBurke]

O lawd.
https://t.co/RGxTSOjlLb

[jab @MsJacoBurke]

https://t.co/t4tzsZW2xf

Just when we thought the markets were going to be calmer for a week...

[jab @MsJacoBurke]

👀 https://t.co/EIXqBCFHDE

[Rap Game Ina Garten @KaraBTweets]

Kendrick every 12 hours at this point

[jab @MsJacoBurke]

Controversial opinion: baby joggers are the superior type of strollers.

[Eric Perkins @PerkatPlay]

This Twins streak is not the wurst. It’s an all out banger. I much prefer them as wieners as opposed to losers. They have really brat their A game lately. Can’t wait to get to the ballpork and cheer on the boys of summer sausage. @Twins

[jab @MsJacoBurke]

Mah pop-tarts.

https://t.co/ZHAIilQ2qq.

[jab @MsJacoBurke]

I think I've finally been accepted into the new risk management group. The 20-something analyst made a meme about me. :')

#heatingoil #golowerplz #energytwitter

[jab @MsJacoBurke]

"We're not getting younger. That's not how physics works."

Who let the account manager run the meeting?