kym

failed comedian

[kym @mskymjones]

I got so drunk last night I got a police escort out of Fremont Street then threw up on my sister

[kym @mskymjones]

Y’all sit on a chair like this or that?

[Hannah Brown @hannahbrown]

I’ve started writing down one thing a day that I’m thankful for so that when I wake up pissed off I’m still in quarantine, I give myself a gentle attitude adjustment.

[kym @mskymjones]

When life gives you lemons, make lemon drops :)

[kym @mskymjones]

The bars being closed is driving me insane. I just want a decent margarita, get drunk, convince myself karaoke is a good idea, then fall asleep on the street waiting for my Uber. On another note, am I an alcoholic?

[kym @mskymjones]

I know who needs to hear this

[Wells Adams @WellsAdams]

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but stop going live.

[kym @mskymjones]

I’m so broke, I’m pulling money from Venmo

[kym @mskymjones]

I play video games so he doesn’t have to

[Governor Bob Ferguson @GovBobFerguson]

For the sake of our neighbors, our health workers, our seniors and others: No one should make a run on the grocery stores to overstock.

If each of us maintains our normal shopping habits, we will avoid the problem of empty shelves.

[kym @mskymjones]

Can we all come together and just stay away from each other?

[kym @mskymjones]

Currently working on toes to bar

[kym @mskymjones]

@Dominicdxchoi Played this on the speakers at work by accident but worth it

[kym @mskymjones]

Due to personal reasons, I have filed a restraining order against coronavirus

[kym @mskymjones]

Just because the gyms are closed does not mean people should stop working out

[kym @mskymjones]

Have we ever thought that maybe everyone just has network connectivity problems?

[kym @mskymjones]

My sister sent me this video and I’m at least 100% sure this is @Ben_Roscoe1

[kym @mskymjones]

In other news...

[kym @mskymjones]

Reduce, reuse, recycle your toilet paper

[kym @mskymjones]

@sandyswagberg I was thinking aloe and some rubbing alcohol but your plan sounds way better!

[kym @mskymjones]

@sandyswagberg trying to quarantine with me? 👀