Shawn Murphy☮️

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

@RealRodLacroix Hosted by Kristi Noem?

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

Forget about a $45 Stanley cup. This bad boy was only about 4k.

[il Donaldo Trumpo @PapiTrumpo]

OK, WHO DID THIS???🤣🤣🤣

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

@Matt_Pinner Spike

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

I will not be cooking or doing dishes tonight. I'm eating leftovers on paper towels over the sink like a raccoon.

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

Men, if you are over 50, leave the young girls alone and find a woman who understands the signs of a stroke.

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

Teen girls today have day serums, night serums, and eye serums. Gen X girls had one jar of Noxema and the belief that if it burned, it was working.

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but stop tracking that package...It's in God's hands now.

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

@ThrillaRilla369 Revah & Bessie

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

@theamelia__ Vild

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

@honeymoon250 thigh gap

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

You can be your own secret Santa with tequila and Amazon Prime.

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

Today I ate all the remaining Halloween candy while reheating my Thankgiving leftovers and listening to Christmas Music.
I have reached the trifecta of holiday nirvana.

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

@ATRightMovies

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

@theAuntieAngie She is wrong, absolutely. I would just go ahead and block her.

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

@oelma__ Still warm dog poop.

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

@salvation_f a pork roast

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

@Matt_Pinner Casper

[Shawn Murphy☮️ @MsMurfie]

@Geniustechw Rent a sander