Matt Uses His Brain

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

Every once in a while, I think about how my dad took my 12 disc land before time set and loaned it, without asking me, to my step-family, only now, he has no idea which of them has it. I've been nothing but forward about getting it back. Oh well, RIP dinosaurs, amirite?

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

I am genuinely so sorry to my friends for calling Barry Bonds, a Pittsburgh Pirates player, a NY Mets player. This offense is quite frankly unforgivable, and I'm truly very sorry.

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

Probably don't have a lot of single followers, but something that really grinds my gears is when Spotify recommends every few months that I switch to a "Duo" plan. Like hey, I know I'm single, you don't gotta keep checking on me. I'll come to you when the day comes lmao.

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

Never about government waste. It's about absolute Executive control

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

I don't usually get political on social media, but like, shouldn't Donald Trump's DOGE team be stopping the military parade on Saturday? Seems like a literal waste of money to deploy tanks just to roll them through the streets so DJT can get off on his birthday. More proof it was

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

If BubbleBass tongue is crazy enough to pull pickles under it while he eats (to hide them), then why didn't he just eat them once his mouth was closed?

He didn't have to be caught if he just ate them each time after closing his mouth.

Yes I'm sure this is the only plot hole

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

Still haven't gotten my 2024 tax return refund that i filed electronically and had accepted by IRS almost two weeks ago #thanksBiden.

I wonder if the recently hired staff that Biden laid off had something to do with this. That can't possibly be true

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

Are we always disrobed until we put one on?

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

It's weird to think about how pets will never understand what a city, state, or country is. They just know born in place then live from place to place. Places may have significance to them, but they don't have concepts of places like we do.

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

why do we buy jackets and shirts with with words on the back. like it makes us happy to have them, but the only people who ever get to see it are other people

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

Thank you for reading my monthly tweet

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

I eat hot Cheetos just to feel something

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

My cats must be so confused by the word "good".
Goodnight: bad
Goodbye: bad
Good boys: good

I tend to use positive voice with them, so I know they have to differentiate the word, but I think it could also just be proximity (at front door vs me sitting next to them)

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

I wonder what percentage of Wyomingites have never seen a revolving door.

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

How many people in NYC are wearing the same jacket right now? What is the number of distinct jackets in NYC?

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

Nobody:
My shower thoughts:
In a cosmic sense, we're just a couple of ants on a singular orbeez

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

Refs when they are looking at the Jags and not throwing flags.

#JAXvsBUF | #BillsMafia

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

@Roboknees25 Dang bro i would've gone with you if I weren't sick

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

@ksalad13 I think your dilemma is just the opposite: it's a perfect Win/Win scenario 👌

But also, bracket bragging rights obvi 😂

[Matt Uses His Brain @mtkizzle12]

@miscmare gg no re