mtobey

[mtobey @mtobey]

"Anybody here named Jeff?"
Jeff: "Yes"
Geoff: "Yeos"

[David Lynch @DAVID_LYNCH]

Dear Twtter Friends,
YAY! BERNIE SANDERS FOR PRESIDENT!!!

[mtobey @mtobey]

Fix your hearts or die

[Jeremy Kaplowitz @jeremysmiles]

🚫 @AdrianDittmann is no longer following "Porn Stars Who Look Like Grimes"

[Brian Stack @BrianStack153]

The late, great Chris Farley before a show at the Ark Improv Theatre in Madison, WI back in '87.

[Don Hughes @getfiscal]

I'm against doing this, but it'd be interesting to conduct an experiment: Have people of different appearances eliminate a number of top CEOs and see how the Internet reacts to each.

[sandy @sandyhonig]

CW: VOMITING

I’ve been struggling w a stomach disorder called gastroparesis, which causes me to vomit almost everything I eat. my insurance denied coverage for a procedure, so I went to their office to appeal their decision.

full vid here: https://t.co/fDACk5nCiB

[Crooked Media @CrookedMedia]

Florida man quits two jobs in one month.
#CrookedMedia #MattGaetz #AG

[amy, esq. @peachofababy]

@TrueAnonPod an old classic

[amy, esq. @peachofababy]

I just looked at Matt Gaetz’ venmo and he apparently knows a lot of extremely young looking women lol

[hasanabi @hasanthehun]

they went from calling him hitler to heiling hitler in less than a week! these ppl hate progressives who advocate for free college and free healthcare more than ppl who want to do mass deportations! they’ve only been complaining abt the left this past month!

[mtobey @mtobey]

@dennisbhooper It's my favorite show of all-time, and I still have a hard time recommending it to a lot of people. There are some episodes that will absolutely ruin your week

[stu @rinbcage]

*playing a California Raisins record for a friend* Pretty good right? These are raisins playing all the instruments

[mtobey @mtobey]

Get your hopes up. It feels good and affects nothing

[mtobey @mtobey]

i've seen enough. jennifer lopez is great in it

[onion person @CantEverDie]

i’m voting for kamala harris in a swing state so that elon musk might kill him self

[mtobey @mtobey]

I voted for Democrats BECAUSE they murdered the squirrel

[evan loves worf @esjesjesj]

Insane to me that a person protesting climate change by literally not damaging anything goes to prison while the people literally responsible for climate change get to own yachts

[Variety @Variety]

June Squibb says people still approach her about “Hubie Halloween” and ask if she owns any of the racy T-shirts featured in the film.

"I do!" Squibb says. "I own 'Boner Doner.'" https://t.co/yjKJYeoxyH

[mtobey @mtobey]

This should have been the end of it

[John Mulaney @mulaney]

i mean @realDonaldTrump if you're so good at negotiating how come you couldn't get @DonaldTrump