Matthew Stanford

A short bio.

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

Go ahead get ya muthafuckin paper up

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

@TwitterSupport Oh just make an edit button and be done with it.

[Tobi Marshall @CoededMarshall]

Nina Simone & Otis Redding, 1967.

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

At the convention center, didn’t know you weirdos were having a damn cosplay convention today. And this would be the day I have to videoconference with my PO

Girls is kinda hot tho

Don’t worry I’m leaving now, you paranoid COWARDS

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

Candyman , Candyman

Spit me a dream

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

That blow your brain Kurt Cobain and Nirvana shit

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

You can find the Christ where he he leopards and the lames at

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

You’re a fucking coward.

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

@ClevelandClinic Seems ass backwards, but I’ll consider it

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

In this world of social media, there is always someone around with a phone that’s equipped with a camera, yet suspiciously there’s never been a photo or video of me “stalking” Donna yet she still gets granted a protection order against me.

And you believed her smfh

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

Santa is REAL.

You on the other hand are a fucking imposter and you have been this way for very long.

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

@mental_floss They probably can, but they won’t.

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

@verge I think it’s a little too early for the “prettiest” title, don’t you?

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

@Gizmodo $8.50??

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

I could tell you that she’s lying about being dead and you’d never believe me.

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

Lmao she could tell y’all that I actually killed her and you’d believe her. No questions asked, she must be telling the truth that she’s dead, right?

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

Jeremiah is gonna hate you ALL

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

You let her ruin my life and didn’t make a single tweet about it?

You fucking COWARD. Fuck you

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

You fat bitch.

[Lifehacker @lifehacker]

11 Ways to Actually Eat Healthier in the New Year https://t.co/poU8goz0rt

[Matthew Stanford @mtstanford]

I was not hacked.

You really are a coward.