matthew

amateur cheese enthusiast. barstool athlete. we on a train. he/him

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

The answer was, is, and will always be chilis.

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

Can't get stupid rich without getting stupid first.

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

@Naxes_the_Fish What

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Every Inning Of Baseball Game Aired On Different Streaming Service https://t.co/8JynJjLDrZ

[Marisa @maaaaarisssssa]

Things I missed: the Padres
Things I didn’t miss: also the Padres

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

Was in a meeting at work today with a Ty and a Tyler today. I greeted them by saying what's up Ty open parenthesis 1 plus ler close parenthesis.

God I hate math.

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

Yall mind if I cathart real quick.

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

I am now an executive Costco member. Yes, this newfound wealth is going to my head.

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

Drunk at a Jay Jay party. The right way to live.

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

Was hit with an "other'n's've" last night. I don't love contractions.

[Jay Jay™ @Naxes_the_Fish]

Hit an “other’n’s’ve” just now. I love contractions.

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

Shower beer? No.
Shower tear? Unfortunately.

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

2026 is all about screen time maximalism.

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

1 like and I do it.

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

How many beers is too many beers? For context, I'm at chilis and it's happy hour.

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

Pseudo Pscience.

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

Rain on a weekend is so disrespectful

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

I am tired of building moats.

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

Ankle still fat as shit but I can take a few steps without the boot.

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

Is it pinas colada just like its attorneys general?

[matthew @mtthwgldmn]

@Naxes_the_Fish I feel like the confederate sense was implied by him being "pro war". Lil redundant