MuGee

Fuck it, we ball!

[MuGee @Mu_G_ee]

We are on Twitter to hate and troll. Don't ever get that wrong.

[salou❦ @hyunsthot]

Seeing an interesting tweet and the tl refreshes before you can finish reading it

[Tech Group Kenya🇰🇪 @TechGroupKenya]

KCB intern After Accidentally Testing Push Notification on Prod Environment

[I am Groot @AntonioSydney3]

Dear world,

It is us again, Kenyans, we would like to clarify that these are the PRESIDENT'S remarks and NOT OURS. We would like to distance our selves from them.

Infact I stand with my Rwandan Kinyozi

[Dr. Ho Yinsen @kinjeketile]

It’s hard to understand how funny Kenyans are when you don’t get the inside jokes.
Everything here is a masterstroke in literature 🤣

[Okong' Okuna @XivTroy]

In the romanticisation of village life, what’s often overlooked is the arduous labour it commands.

Wake up at 6 a.m. Go milk the cows. Sweep the chicken coop. Wash the drinkers & refill them, mix the medicine. Go to the sheep pen. Sweep. Go tie the sheep. Head to the cow pen: repeat. Fill every bucket with water, pulled from a manual well.

Take breakfast quickly.

Go to the granary. Carry maize out to dry. Head to the farm. Carry 20kg maize sacks on your back, the remainder of the harvest. Back & forth. Back & forth.

Afternoon. Go home. Eat quickly. Take the animals to pasture. I used to fight my brother over this. Only time you'd get to sit down, read a novel. A little nap, and sheep has strayed into the next farm.

Bring the animals back in the evening. Mum forgot to buy salt. Rush to the market. Come back. Milk the cow. Cooking water has run out. Pull more from the well.

It’s 7 p.m.

Go bathe. Eat. Sleep at 8:30.

Midnight, the dogs are barking. Cow thieves again. Join the neighbours outside to chase the thieves, who made away with 3 cows. which you looked for until 3 am, came back home at 4 am.

Put your head on the pillow, it’s 6 already. Cows are mooing. Milk is itching their udders.

I suffered in the village, mam. But there were good times too. And rivers. And lots of sugarcane. And a girl that I really liked. Would I recommend it?

No. Stay right where you are.

You'd never get depressed in the village, though. Too much to do to even entertain the thought. Your only anxiety was whether you'd ever make it out of there, and how much better a parent you would be once you did.

Go to the village in your 40s if you have to. Village life is only good when you're the one doing the ordering around. Telling your kids they are too soft, because at their age you were tilling three acres of land with a hoe everyday under the scorching sun, while raising a whole family.

[WANGECHI @wangechikenya]

Taxes are being deducted from your payslips so that people can run Airbnbs in affordable houses 😂
If we bring this guy back we deserve all the hell he will put us through!!

[John Mutongoi @johnmtongoi]

It has now emerged that Nalitex Limited, the company awarded the tender to supply Kenya's new police uniforms, was registered in May 2024 with Selpha Chesimi Temoi as its sole director and shareholder, while its registered phone number has been linked to accountant Charles Tela Alusala, a financial contact for companies associated with First Lady Rachel Ruto and President William Ruto's daughter, Charlene Ruto.

[Moe @moneyacademyKE]

A new report has emerged raising questions over the Sh2.8 billion police uniforms tender awarded to Nalitex Ltd, a company registered in 2024.

Its listed office could not be traced, while its postal address is shared with an accounting firm and Ruto family-linked businesses.

[Randomista @Randommest]

One of this regime's Achilles tendons is international shame.
So mine is simply to repost.

[Okiya Omtatah Okoiti @OkiyaOmtatah]

THE PEOPLE MUST NOT REPAY ILLEGAL DEBT
Kenya’s people cannot be made to repay every loan simply because someone signed a document in the name of the Republic.

Before taxpayers are asked to pay, we must ask basic questions: Was the borrowing lawful? Were the constitutional and statutory procedures followed? Where did the money go? What was it used for? What public benefit did it produce?

And where #odiousdebt is alleged, we must ask what the lenders knew, or reasonably ought to have known.

Public debt is not a blank cheque. The Constitution, the law and the Kenyan people must come first.
#DeniBandia #ReKe

[BRAVIN YURI @BravinYuri]

This guy is very manipulative. First, he creates a nonexistent conflict.

“Mtu asidharauliwe kwa sababu ya kilemba.”

I don't remember that being an issue in this country. Akorinos have been doing their thing without anyone having a problem with them.

Then proceeds to promise 50 TSC letters for votes of course. That is unconstitutional! He has no power to even hand one letter to anyone. That should be a TSC job.

This is what we are rejecting in 2027. When they ask us what the agenda is, they are the agenda. They piss on our constitution.

[Okiya Omtatah Okoiti @OkiyaOmtatah]

This is a constitutional coup against the TSC.
Article 237 gives the independent Teachers Service Commission exclusive power to appoint teachers, not @StateHouseKenya, not the Speaker, not Members of Parliament & political brokers.
@HonWetangula’s admission that letters now come from @StateHouseKenya is an open confession of executive capture. It turns jobs into patronage, locks out qualified graduates, and reduces @TSC_KE to a rubber stamp.
Hoarding and dishing out these letters through MPs is institutionalised corruption.
@TSC_KE

[Thrilla the Gorilla @ThrillaRilla369]

The scary part isn’t the corruption anymore.
It’s how normal it has become.
Evidence gets exposed.
People react online.
And then nothing happens.

[Rub-A-Dub @gaddafffii]

Make electricity expensive. Make internet unaffordable. Sijai ona mwanaume mjinga kiasi hii. This is a discovery

[Yasin @ItsYasin_]

Ndindi Nyoro asks the president to suspend the constitution for 6 months and rule with an iron fist.
This one is not an option bwana.

[MCポテト @PotatoMC_f]

@kinki_mikunyan2 @Agukunel256 7大罪のうち4つをひとまとめにしたらコイツになる

[BRAVIN YURI @BravinYuri]

This is how you know these bills don't even come from Kenya. How are such stakeholders never consulted?

[Nahashon Kimemia @NahashonKimemia]

Every salaried worker who feels the pinch of SHA and housing levy should remember that those deductions would not have been possible without Ndindi Nyoro. He was the Chair of the Budget Committee that pushed them through Parliament.

[reaction.gif @TheReactionGif]

Can we pass a law that says that Government is never allowed to say "free" and instead they must always say "tax-payer funded"?

[Clean For.Real @scottykaswaah]

Amenitext saai amesema wako locked in kwa room..torture na murder threats wako 10 Kenyans amenitumiaa location and number ya embassy...
Mnisaidie kurepost tuone Ka itafikiaa the right people