deeply serious person

undisputed king of the parking lot

[deeply serious person @mung_beans]

[slurring] electric light orchestra

[deeply serious person @mung_beans]

this week I tried to sign up for an 11:30am weekday class at the gym and was told I'd have to go on the WAITLIST???? what??

[deeply serious person @mung_beans]

I am soooooo excited for all of you holidays off guys to go back to work. 2pm on Tuesday is for stay at home moms and bartenders, fuck off!

[katie @katefeetie]

what do you mean next week I have to go back to working 40+ hours instead of reading whole books and going to movies in the middle of the day and getting drunk on my couch. haha what do you mean

[Dickgirl Van Dyke @Correspondence]

Trying to tell Stanley about the moon but he doesn't care

[deeply serious person @mung_beans]

@shaqpipelegs he used to go around the art room and stand behind you while you painted and go like, “hm.”

[deeply serious person @mung_beans]

@shaqpipelegs Eventually, he was kicked out… OF SCHOOL… because his brother left a gun in his car

[deeply serious person @mung_beans]

I wonder if being raised rapture ready has to do with why I have such a buoyant, just-happy-to-be-here spirit

[deeply serious person @mung_beans]

@EPM106 the real awesome thing about the cooker is that it will hot hold the rice for you all day

[roro, PhD @fuglibetty]

I want one because I want to conduct unethical experiments on his person

[deeply serious person @mung_beans]

even for sleep it’s like, I’ll not have trouble falling asleep, I’ll sleep for a great amount of time, I should feel fantastic, but instead it’s like, great I slept for 9 hours and I am tired all day anyway

[deeply serious person @mung_beans]

I think, like, nearly 25 years after I first consumed one, I am ready to admit that I just really don’t like edibles

[deeply serious person @mung_beans]

having trouble explaining to the algo that I don’t want to see Wednesday fandom stuff… I don’t know who Enid is and I don’t care about her gay feelings…

[deeply serious person @mung_beans]

I don’t think I have refused to learn anything. I genuinely believe I could do anything, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet…

[microplastics rectifier @facetedcarapace]

What's a very basic thing you have stubbornly refused to learn

[Claire Penis @ZeroSuitCamus]

My date: I think I really have to go

Me: [getting between her and the door, using my remote to queue up the song Wichita Lineman by Glen Campbell for the 4th time in a row] You just need to hear it one more time

[deeply serious person @mung_beans]

got too drunk at my wife’s 20 year high school reunion… classic place to do it I think

[deeply serious person @mung_beans]

people online love to call themselves “a cassandra” for expressing reasonable projections of the future that many people would agree are plausible

[deeply serious person @mung_beans]

now why is he in it

[deeply serious person @mung_beans]

@ScottyDouglas That’s so awesome lol

[deeply serious person @mung_beans]

What do you think is the weirdest thing you’ve ever heard someone claim to be the originator of? there was someone on here who used to say they invented hating on the charmin bears