simona

updog

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

@trashpupdotcom

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

@trashpupdotcom My coworkers and I call our manager boss baby

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

Breaking my Twitter hiatus to say it is scientifically impossible for me to make a fist

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

@wrstkayceenario Sounds like he couldn’t solve the toughest equation of all: love

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

Venmo is really weird because I can see when a couple in a 7 year relationship is sending each other money for coffee

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

Can we talk about Diet Coke Freaks? People who drink Diet Coke have like 10 a day. Never known anyone who drinks fewer than 4 diet cokes in a day

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

The thing about birthdays is it’s an opportunity for someone you hooked up with 7 years ago to try to weasel back in your life with a simple happy birthday text

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

Hold on a second… is Little Women about lesbians?

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

@jayprufr0ck @lil_gods_fave I’m waiting for him 🥰

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

@jayprufr0ck @lil_gods_fave Car always on the fritz, I have no money, I cannot love

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

@jayprufr0ck Help

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

Is Pete buttigieg French?

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

Most French guys look like rats, no?

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

He thought they were trying to sell us something. He goes “no thanks, we have enough cookies”

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

We got children Christmas carolers last night and my dad turned them away like “sorry we’re not from here, I don’t know what this is”

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

@armchairqueer 😍😍😍

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

@armchairqueer @ me next time

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

I’ve now seen grinch twice in the last week

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

The grinch has childhood trauma but ok go off

[simona @muppetfrenzy]

Absolutely no professional boundaries in the restaurant industry. I’m in a group chat with my coworkers where they just track how many times a day they shit