Murdered Mallard

Irreverent, whimsical, random, chaotic & occasionally crass pop culture & political t-shirts and miscellaneous swag.

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

@HawkEmDownChris Nope.

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

@_josephine0_ $37.00

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

@GavinNewsom Don’t you spend tax dollars on a staff of people whose job is to mock people?

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

@theamelia___ I’d probably untie her.

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

But Target still sells *hoodies*?????

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

My kingdom for Monday Night Raw to start at the same time 4 weeks in a row.

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

@Variety Has the internet started calling him “Professor Mex” yet?

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

@Variety Has the internet started calling him “Professor Mex” yet?

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

@jondelarroz They *used to be* men. Ex-men.

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

@GavinNewsom The J6 committee told us that kind of language incites violence. Is that your intent, governor?

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

@UhhhHammy @EndWokeness

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

@EndWokeness Wow. It would be crazy if there were an analogous human statistic.

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

@james_xond It literally was. You think the Hunter / gatherers tapped out at 8 hour work days? Survival was constant work. Naturally. We have it easy.

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

@Matt_Pinner The Quick & the Dead

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

@themaddierune I would engagement farm the fuck out of them.

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

30 minutes from Gillette Stadium. Sweet pad for a rookie.

@patriots know anybody in the market?

https://t.co/FFAJMTJVJz

[Eren 🎯 @erenfromtargets]

This girl at my job tryna warm her food with aluminum foil , I told her she can't do that she said "I'm new here I ain't know" girl you can't do that anywhere…

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

@GovPressOffice No NY cities. No IL cities. No MA cities. No PA cities. Why aren’t you calling them out?

[Murdered Mallard @murderedmallard]

@Patriots Know anybody looking for a private crib not far from Foxboro?

https://t.co/FRkq9CVkhl