beat rice

mozzarella sticks

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

sure i’ll donate my body to science. as long as those students give me forehead kisses before cutting me open

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

film critics write a review without using the word “toothless” challenge

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

@chIoefallon ty, missed you sm xoxo

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

if after 3 drinks, he starts talking like the BFG, girl RUN!

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

harry potter only decided to stay alive so that he wouldn’t die a virgin

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

so wait, did Voldemort have to bang his snake?

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

mgk chesterton

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

does Busch gardens scout adult males with pony tales

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

going to just publish some tweeth i’ve been ty ping into my notes app srry they won’t be timely

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

i’ve been off this app for 2 year and, as my fifth grade teacher used to say, im cornfused

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

europeans get so pissed when someone has the audacity to be from any state other than california

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

why do they always edit college athletes like this

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

God making me a side sleeper and giving me sensitive ears

[Leo @MODELIONS]

wait cuz in 2 months 2019 will be 7 years ago......

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

if you had chronic ear infections you’re hot now

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

i heard cracker barrel is starting to install signs that can be seen from 200 miles down the road

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

there should be an america’s got talent but for people who don’t have stutters that they’ve overcome

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

bouta act of contrition my way into some absolution

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

there’s no such thing as “vine energy” you’re all just shells of what used to be people

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

one thing abt me is that i’m in big trouble in little china

[beat rice @murderonthebeat]

they’ve asked me to pen a feature film abt toucan sam’s origin story