murphy kat

fuck cancer. always rooting for the underdog. murphys law runs my life. alien. views expressed are my own.

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

corporations are not people. money is not speech.

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

“A married man has no proper reason to initiate private correspondence with a woman of no relation or consequence to himself or his wife. I see you have mistaken this mere clarification for accusatory injustice. Your male fragility is most revealing.” Why you guys mad tho lol

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

Is everyone willing to agree that GUNS are the problem or nah

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

@krassenstein This video looks like AI to me. Not saying it is but its giving AI

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

Super strange to me that we can catch up with people who used to be a huge part of our lives and tell them that a parent (or anyone close) died and they just don’t acknowledge it lol what is that? What happened to humans? I can’t imagine losing that much humanity 🤷🏻‍♀️

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

Im definitely an optimist with love BUT you know you’ve reached your limit when you lie to men that you’re a lesbian. I’m truly straight against my will😫😂 send help 🆘

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

Either the character arc or just the plot twist they won’t talk about in therapy

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

If you know me, you know I say some words incorrectly. Classics are Yosemite, gala, vagina. But you mean to fucking tell me that the golf company Titleist isn’t said tittle-ist? Title-ist sounds so obviously douchey but I guess thats very on brand. at least tits are fun & nice

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

Anyone else realize their friends are in new relationships based on the new Spotify playlists they make or is it just me 😂 #playlistsarealovelanguage

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

You know the bar was set so low when millions of women were into Joe fucking Goldberg 😵‍💫🔪🩸

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

Its always the dudes who have to FaceTime us as were driving, the dudes who insist were always cheating, touching their cameras, (why are there cameras tho) & the dudes who say we “move weird” that are, always undoubtedly confused, saying every one of their exes is “cRaZy”🙃🤔😶

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

Nothing funnier than a dude being SO triggered by this that they send paragraphs of DMs about their pick up truck LOL. the argument he made was “it’s like breast implants but in a truck for a man” very manly indeed.
😂🤦🏻‍♀️💀🐻

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

Watching adolescence on Netflix and it’s extremely predictable but still shocking because we all know that BOY and the switch in demeanors. We’ve all had experiences with that BOY. Needless to say, wouldn’t be surprised to hear if a few of my exes end up killing a woman. 🐻

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

@akafaceUS @harryjsisson @JoeyMannarinoUS @GuntherEagleman Why is everyone so mad about what he’s cooking? It’s taylor ham, not bologna lol

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

Microdosing hell by living in America

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

@elonmusk Share the wealth Elon. Maybe people would be more inclined to have kids if it was remotely affordable to do so lol

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

I’m confused on why DJT wants the Panama Canal. I thought he didn’t want anything imported and just wants everything made in America lol maybe I’m the dumbass tho. So someone explain it to me like I’m 5

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

people keep asking what’s your 2025 resolution…and its like maybe light up a room when I walk into it? walk in everybody smiling, everyone happy to see me or something? idfk.

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

After everything Jimmy's done to build
Miami's culture and lead them to two Finals, seeing him suddenly want out has me wondering what drama must be happening behind those closed doors

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

@selenagchart The biebs is being too polite 😂💀

[murphy kat @murphy__kat]

Generally, you can tell alot about a person by watching how they treat and talk to their parents. 🚩🚩