Alexa

“I want to live my life so that I’ll be able to read an in-depth biography of myself in later years and not puke.” - Paris Geller

[Alexa @murphy_alexa]

In 2009 I said I would play he could be the one by Hannah Montana at my wedding and tbh I still plan on doing that.

[Alexa @murphy_alexa]

@sonicdrivein broke my heart by not bringing back totchos and pickle fries this summer 😭💔💔💔

[Jadi @jherna60]

i love that @KansasCity doesn’t have bus drivers for public schools but they have bus drivers for the #ChiefsParade

[Alexa @murphy_alexa]

👀

[stephen altrogge @stephenaltrogge]

Men will literally move to Phoenix and start a new church rather than go to therapy

[Alexa @murphy_alexa]

@KyleJamesHoward Hate that

[Alexa @murphy_alexa]

Dear Lord,
Please make mozzarella sticks healthy.
Amen

[Alexa @murphy_alexa]

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 12 years, since 18 Dec 2011 (via @twi_age).

[Alexa @murphy_alexa]

@nicolesantillo5 Oof. Been there

[Alexa @murphy_alexa]

@TayyBurney Ooof yeah! I found some for like $12 at dicks sporting goods! Thought I was going to break something trying to squeeze them into my docs but it really seemed like it sped up the breaking in process

[Alexa @murphy_alexa]

@TayyBurney I broke mine in by wearing stupidly thick hiking socks and walking my dog in them. Thought I was going to have to amputate both my feet but it worked

[Alexa @murphy_alexa]

@j_south22 @KCTV5 KU & Kstate

[Alexa @murphy_alexa]

@tacobell @tacobellcare I keep reaching out asking for help on a mistaken mobile order from last week and y’all are ignoring me. Pretty rude if you ask me

[Juan @juany3p]

Es IMPOSIBLE tener un mal día despues de ver este video esto completamente bendecido me limpio los chakras

[Lindsey Medenwaldt @LMedenwaldt]

Hot take: It's weird when pastors talk about how hot their wives are.

[Donald Miller @donaldmiller]

How disappointing would it be to get to heaven and find out God created life to be enjoyed while all we did was worry?

[Alexa @murphy_alexa]

@KyleJamesHoward The fact that you took the time to explain all of this shows just how patient and loving you are.

Couldn’t be me!

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

My prayer for the church today:
Revive Thy work, O Lord
Thy mighty arm make bare;
Speak with the voice that wakes the dead, And make Thy people hear. Revive Thy work, O Lord
Disturb this sleep of death.
Quicken the smoldering embers now by Thy Almighty breath.

A. Midlane, 1858

[Money with Katie @moneywithkatie]

my biggest financial mistake was being in 8th grade in 2009 when I should’ve been buying foreclosed real estate

[Isabel Steckel @IsabelSteckel]

no one:

moms: i was 92 pounds at my wedding

[Alexa @murphy_alexa]

People who make asmr videos with mouth sounds deserve a lifetime in prison