Murray

I wipe when I pee

[Murray @MurrayJ_]

@_balloonatic_ @Chickenman400 Are you a fucking idiot?

[Murray @MurrayJ_]

@Rovertronic Wow! Who cares!

[Murray @MurrayJ_]

@dlblforever @ecto_fun Harry Potter is pretty good

[Murray @MurrayJ_]

I think gnats are getting bigger… this can’t be good…

[Murray @MurrayJ_]

@DefiantLs Have that thing put down!

[Zer0 (ぜーろ) @ssbm_zero]

上Bエッジキャンセル https://t.co/vGJcAIMQMO

[Zer0 (ぜーろ) @ssbm_zero]

僕の考えたプリン対策？ https://t.co/MdyxsYW8Ra

[jameswhite @JamesCageWhite]

I’m single. I’m looking for white woman 👩

[jameswhite @JamesCageWhite]

Check out this dinosaur 🦖 I’m looking for white woman

[Murray @MurrayJ_]

Bro I fucking HATE creepy crawlies

[Murray @MurrayJ_]

@Doggy_Miller @3_maldini3 No

[Murray @MurrayJ_]

I’m a Dewey in the streets but a Reece in the sheets

[Murray @MurrayJ_]

@AdriCaporusso Rate the glowup

[Murray @MurrayJ_]

Imagine if in Home Alone instead of Kevin it was me and instead of those 2 guys trying to break in it was 2 sexy ladies with big tits and I let them in and they started jerking me off and sucking my dick

That would be pretty cool just sayin

[Murray @MurrayJ_]

I’m sorry but whenever the holidays roll around I can’t help but feel like a Scrooge (from the end of the movie when he’s happy and silly)

[Murray @MurrayJ_]

@MikeMcMahanTM How is it the only letter to be alone?

[Murray @MurrayJ_]

@SalVulcano @tastebudspod To eat? Or to have sex with?

[Murray @MurrayJ_]

BE HONEST

What’s your favourite part about going to the bathroom?

1.Peeing
Or
2.Making silly faces and looking at your warped reflection in that silver part on top of the urinal

[Murray @MurrayJ_]

I love the way the sinks at my work splash water all over my arms and on my shirt. What a bargain! I came in here just to wash my hands, but now my whole body’s soaking wet!