Murray Valeriano

writer. comedian. surfer.

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

@JDVance You’re scum.

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

@AlaskaAir It says 11 minutes 😂

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

@phil_hellmuth I agree with this

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

@AskFrontier Now I will get a tech in SIX DAYS! Six days from now!!!

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

@FrontierCorp the absolute worst! They asked me to upgrade. I said yes. Internet went immediately down and now I have to wait 5 days for a tech!!! They refuse to send anybody out today!

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

@AskFrontier Now @FrontierCorp has hung up on me and not calling back!

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

@AskFrontier Hour 6 on the phone. You will not send anybody out.

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

@PeteHegseth We look forward to hearing more about this meeting on the group chat.

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

@laurenboebert You have a giant head.

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

@PCPappy I mostly see cops in those

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

Do you know what Yacht Rock is?

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

@mrpeavley Only Vick Tayback.

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

Even with all the crap and division and the hate going on in this world right now, I still had hope for humanity. Then today I saw this MF’er put mayonnaise on his hot dog and realized we have no chance.

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

@EddieTrunk Love em!

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

@gbscobel @RockSolidShow Right???

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

Guys! I had a blast talking Lou Reed 80's albums with my good friend Pat Francis of the @RockSolidShow! Put some fun in your ears.

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

Hey Christians, keep telling yourself that it's "satan's temptation" that's driving people from the church and not your hypocritical bullshit.

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

Women.

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

Just a reminder, only 3 more weeks until I set the clock in my car back an hour.

#DaylightSavingTime

[Murray Valeriano @murrayv]

Last time I was in Connecticut I downloaded Grinder and ended up fucking a sandwich.