Trouter

charlie trout 🔸️ dive bar employee, dive bar enthusiast, transfag

[Trouter @mustardbuster]

Exhibiting signs of emotional masochism (listening to a lot of Jason Molina, again)

[Trouter @mustardbuster]

It is genuinely and legally Rainbow Trout

[oafboy @nadiayoudevil]

if you are transgender i am going to ask you your middle name

[Trouter @mustardbuster]

The age-old adage of "you're not truly friends until you've been asked if you're dating" has come for my friendship with a heterosexual coworker who is 14 years older than me

[Trouter @mustardbuster]

@BODY_W0_WHORGAN I'm a late bloomer (didn't get into tMG until I was 15)

[Trouter @mustardbuster]

My plans fall thru so often it's getting comical. I was going to get drinks with my friend earlier but then he got stung by a jellyfish

[Blight Yoakam @BlightYoakam]

holy shit you guys 👇

https://t.co/KougvoGuzh

[Trouter @mustardbuster]

The most beautiful women you've ever seen are calling me baby and asking how my night was and I've got no fucking clue who they are

[Trouter @mustardbuster]

The harrowing part of being a Real Drinker that no one talks about: seeing randoms at bars and they talk to you like you're best friends, and you don't know who they are, and you don't know whether you met them when you were twisted or if they've mistaken you for some other f*g

[Trouter @mustardbuster]

The next customer to touch me unnecessarily as I walk thru the bar area to get to the walk-in will receive a special surprise (bite wound)

[audrey horne enthusiast @lynch0rne]

essential scene

[Trouter @mustardbuster]

I was only 1.5 drinks down last night and I ended up sitting on the sidewalk outside the bar talking to stranger about their concerns about transitioning. Monday night, 2am outside the dive bar doing gender therapy for someone whose name I did not learn

[Trouter @mustardbuster]

I got a new job. It's fun and I'm gonna make more money. Someone better kiss me on the lips homie style to congratulate me

[Trouter @mustardbuster]

@BODY_W0_WHORGAN The surrounding context of going home with a straight guy I barely knew from a dive bar was in such contrast with Love Love Love playing over the experience that it just did not work

[Trouter @mustardbuster]

Last time I fucked, I did not have the aux cord, and after getting pounded to the Mountain Goats, I might just go ahead and never have sex again

[Agita Christie @pagan_hoetry]

One time like nearly twenty years ago a guy in an effort to impress me put on Silver Jews while we were having sex and it ruined the vibe so catastrophically that to this day I cannot stand when people put on any music during sex

[Trouter @mustardbuster]

@pagan_hoetry It was a mix too, like how Spotify does the artist radio thing. There was a Pavement song. I think there was a Bright Eyes song in there. I don't like sex with music on anyway, but it was real suboptimal soundtrack

[Trouter @mustardbuster]

Does anyone else remember that one post about a lesbian couple putting on Diners Drive-ins & Dives as background noise, and then ending up having sex enough times that they Pavloved themselves into getting horny at the sound of Guy Fieri? I need it and cannot find it

[Trouter @mustardbuster]

I have been abstinent for 9 months if I dont get eaten out soon, I will start chewing on electrical cables

[Trouter @mustardbuster]

The worst part about the service industry is not being able to avoid people you hate. The best part of the service industry is seeing your homies at their jobs and your homies pointing out other guests and going "hey, I hate that guy."

[Trouter @mustardbuster]

I spent so long being scared of straight dudes and then started making straight dude friends and they fucking rock so hard. If you're a tiny, gentle fag and a straight man decides he likes you, he will start announcing that he'll fight people for you. It's their love language.