Billy🇰🇪

Live. Laugh. Love.

[Hluphizwe Jnr 🍺🤴🏽 Masinga @TheRealSmomoh]

Gents 🗣️

Sometimes being alone is not that scary

[MOAC💰🏃🏻‍♂️💨🏁 @mindofachaser]

The thing about women that most guys die without ever understanding is that most of the time you have to allow a bad decision to occur (aka let them make a bad decision) just so they can see why their decision was retarded to begin with.

This is a daily SOP for successfully living with a woman.

Where to eat. What to buy. What to do. How to drive. It’s everything and anything.

Women are emotional. They are also illogical. Women are caring. They are also irrational. For every great quality (Yin) they have there is the flip side (Yang) aka the shit that makes no sense.

Take tonight for an example. It’s 3:24 am as I write this. Why am I awake? Because my girl talked to her old friend (liberal chick with a simp husband) who had a kid two years ago.

The friend told my girl the night routine that worked best for them (her, deff not the guy) with a newborn was to both wake up in the middle of the night. Guy changes the diaper (3 minute task) while the girl got ready to breast feed (1 hour ordeal regardless) and that worked best for them (I can assure you the guy was miserable).

I came home from work yesterday late (aka my girl was already emotional/sad/mad/whatever) and she goes “we should do this…” blah blah blah.

I said to myself “that’s retarded but there’s no reasoning let me say yes and she’ll find out in less than 12 hours why it’s retarded.”… “doesn’t really make sense to me but let’s try it” I go (knowing this is a dumb idea).

So we tried it. It’s now 3:54am… I have since migrated to the couch in the living room to try to go back to sleep after my literal 2 minute diaper change at *checks clock* 2:02 am.

And, like clockwork, at 3:54am my girl shuffles over from the bedroom in her own walk of shame and says “are you mad at me?”

“No.” I laugh.

“Ok… that’s good. You know… you were right, that wasn’t such a good idea.”

No shit.

And that’s how it’s done gentlemen.

[Bohemian Diva @BohemianDiva99]

Because it is. Women are not known for their directness when wanting sex. Jesus the generation of women are stupid as fuck. Didn’t your mother teach you anything? The rule, if you’re not interested you don’t be alone with him. Especially since y’all love accusing men of rape.

[David Davidson @DavidDa77889261]

@BohemianDiva99 Exactly, these numbskulls pretend the "netlix n chill" meme was invented because texting "wanna fuck?" gets guys laid... Ive had a woman say "I'll come back to yours and help you fix that wardrobe if you want? "... Its 1am we've been drinking all night "Sure Jan"

[𝕭𝖊𝖓 𝕯𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗 @menteh_]

Saw it earlier and maze We are in a crazy country tbh...

[alana @user8292729182]

só eu que tenho a impressão que tomar banho chapado faz a onda passar?

[Llewellyn Ouya @LlewellynOuya]

Mwanaume unalipwa 50k net na salo ikiingia mnaenda out na 3 office babes.. unatumia 20k pap ndio uitwe sweety na office bae.. by Monday umesota na hao madame hawalipi rent.. ata fare hawalipi.. wanadropiwa job.. pesa zao wanasunda kwa Sacco na kulipa loan ya cx5 baridi.. wewe ata baiskeli unaonea viusasa.. you think it's a joke? If you work in Corporate as a man.. when last did you buy a pair of shoes or a nice shirt? Ni mbayaaaa! Oh boychild!

[K I M A N I 7️⃣ @_Kimani_7]

@MwaririMdogo Held your hand kitu gani
Jamaa aliua kunguni na akabaki anakucheka buana😂

[𝙶𝚊𝚠𝚞𝚔𝚊 𝚔𝚊𝙼𝚐𝚎𝚐𝚎𝚍𝚕𝚊 @Somlimokazi]

I am the most friendliest person you’ll ever meet who absolutely does NOT want to be your friend.

[bk? @__dontplay]

when someone lends you money, it doesn’t mean they have a lot. they just thought you needed it more than them at that very moment. so please, try to return people’s money with the same smile and energy you borrowed the money with.

[Nathan ✰ @Just1Nathann_]

It’s one of the clearest signs that someone doesn’t give a damn about you. Many people feel bad about being ignored, but I’m always happy when someone ignores me. It saves me the stress of trying harder.

Someone’s lack of interest isn’t an invitation for you to do more.

[Blaxx🦇 @biggblaxxx]

when you’re tired asf but the bedtime joint is still important

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Pale corporate utapata kuna female collegue mko salary bracket moja lakini lunch time mkienda kukula anataka wewe umlipie bill because you have shown slight interest in her. Vijana mkikaa mbaya hii Nairobi mtalia sana,Kaa ngumu!

[Keem @eazisrael]

There’s someone I’ve had to meet up with a few times this past week. He always came ridiculously late.

Today I tried to go so late he’d have to wait for me and feel what I’ve been feeling. I got there and found him just parking his car.

[chromatic. @juhmeer]

good morning can you take this down i would appreciate it!!

[Baron Cohen Ke🇰🇪 @cohen_baron2]

Kuna jamaa huchat na my woman na venye kunaenda ni kama wamepanga date hii weekend, the guy looks financial stable and has a bmw, he even sent its picture kwa whatsapp, sitaki kumuuliza, wacha weekend ifike nione venye nitapangwa haha

[𝕯eon @chiplichipli2k]

Aty “here’s my go to lazy meal” na ushaanza kukata kitungu, bruh we ishia bana 😭✌🏾

[🐾p3arlly 𐙚 @y0urhaunt3dgf]

Is it just me or does everyone grow up and realise that there really isn’t anybody to whom you can tell everything and there never will be and maybe there are certain things you not supposed to tell nobody and that’s just how it is

[Elvis @Elvis_Localman]

🚨 The owner of the Aston Martin KDS 888M is HUZEIFA ONALI MOHAMED ALI. The car was involved in an accident with an expired insurance then they renewed to a new TPO at 02:40 EAT after the accident upon.

When you see this tweet 🐣 do the necessary.

THREAD

[dreary @drearybliss]

i need to find the part of my brain that needs human connection and just stab it