nonsexual dominance is so attractive. having someone choose for you? placing a hand on your back? pulling you closer in crowded areas? fixing your hair when you didn't know it was messy? holding your hand to guide you through crowds? telling you when you should eat or go to bed? top tier
As an adult with no kids, it's my solemn duty to embrace the hobbies and adventures my peers no longer have time for, because they've sacrificed their freedom to keep the human race alive. I must travel, nap, pursue whimsical interests, and have fun in their honor.