My Book Hell

Bookseller confessions. General public idiocy. Pedantry.

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

At the till, man collecting book asks for a plastic bag, so charge him 5p. Man fumes that I’m making him pay for something that ‘kills dolphins’. ‘That’s kind of the point of the 5p charge sir’ I suggest. Man storms out, sans book or bag. WTF?

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

It’s been a year and a half since my last tweet, so I’ve a few stories to share. All in good time of course...

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

I’m back. In fact I never went away... What bookselling news doth thou have for me?

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

@WstonesLeeds Indeed... I guess it would solve the author-with-two-surnames problem though....

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

'I don't really need help, but where are your Catherine Alliott books?' 'Fiction.' 'And are they under her first or last name?' '...' 😑

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

FOUND: Soiled pants discarded in customer toilet. One not-so-careful owner. Let's get these pants home - please RT!! DM for deets x

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

@MikeCBishop 😆

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

Customer asks for bucket of water to wash some sick from our step. Find out the vomit is half way down the street and not on our step 😐🤢🤔

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

@nataliemoore838 Round atlases, circle maps... whatever, just get me one of those balls with drawings of places on it yeah

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

@DodoSolitaire Yep, the ones hidden in plain sight are far more dangerous

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

Almost got into a scrap with a customer over her term 'travel dictionary'. She wasn't having 'phrasebook' or 'foreign language dictionary' 🤔

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

What a shame I can't order copies of Tommy Robinson's new book Enemy of the State for uncouth shaven-headed lout. What. A. Shame.

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

Man asks for Donkey Shot. ''Donkey Shot' I confirm. 'Donkey Shot' he says, showing me an image on his phone of Don Quixote... #truestory

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

Showing a customer where a book is. Walk towards an elderly lady. Just before we pass she lets out an enormous fart. Doesn't bat an eyelid.

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

Yesterday a customer moved a chair, blocked a bookcase, sat down, opened a can of Red Bull, spilt it everywhere, fell asleep. Beat that.

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

'Ello John, got a new motor? https://t.co/UruD3PMbkW

[Her @TemerityVerity]

@nealko @mybookhell Like: 'There's a new book by 'Lee Harper', I hear his first was very good.'

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

@nealko Looking forward to it 👍

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

Man asks my new line manager for a recommendation for a boy who's read every Beast Quest book. 'Has he ever read Enid Blyton?' she asks 😧

[My Book Hell @mybookhell]

Lady asks for new John Simpson novel. Tell her there's only a new biog/war correspondence title, no novel. 'Yes, that's the one' she says.