alva

18, they/them • bpd | ptsd | ed • ♎️♐️♎️ • ENFJ | 4w3 • kind of a diary lol • english isn't my first language but i don't want people i know here lmao

[alva @mybpddiary]

nothing feels like home but i don't know how home feels like

[alva @mybpddiary]

no one remembered that today was my birthday:(

[alva @mybpddiary]

"Nick uses me for sex when he wants. Otherwise, I don't exist".

[alva @mybpddiary]

will you ask me out? you're all i can think about

[alva @mybpddiary]

i got my drivers license todaaaay!!!

[alva @mybpddiary]

@peoplearejerks_ thank yooou😭🤍

[alva @mybpddiary]

today i told my psychologist what my dad did to me and she was really supportive and i'm starting a new therapy to fully recover from that💘💘💘

[alva @mybpddiary]

i'd die for you my love

[alva @mybpddiary]

if he thinks i'm a kid why does he talk to me? just leave but don't create false expectations lmao

[alva @mybpddiary]

and hopefully it'll help me to develop better relationships with others hehe i feel relieved

[alva @mybpddiary]

i just want you to be interested in me

[alva @mybpddiary]

i'll never experience love, i'll never experience what having a family is, i'll never experience what not having a fucking mental illness is

[alva @mybpddiary]

will he ever like me? because i do and it's killing me

[𝒍𝒖𝒏𝒂🌙 @BpdNymph]

Something weird I’ve noticed about myself is that trauma has made me both very empathetic, selfless and compassionate towards others but also it’s made me self-centered and a bit narcissistic at times and I don’t know how I’m both of these things at the same time but I am.

[alva @mybpddiary]

yesterday 5 people i know including myself had a migraine like wtf

[🖤Rachel McD🖤 @RachVoodooChild]

And the fact that I'm still trying means a lot.

[woahh mann @ashhhhhhole]

sorry i can’t talk right now I’m doing hot girl shit (6 loads of laundry bc i was too depressed for 2 weeks)

[alva @mybpddiary]

ive just spent a lot of money bc im struggling rn and i dont know if ill make it till tomorrow lmao i wont see those things

[alva @mybpddiary]

i'm going to tell my mom what i should have told her years ago

[alva @mybpddiary]

i was really happy but my dad and this stupid assholes had to ruin it